Friday, December 11, 2015

Merlot

She likes to explore.
I like Merlot.
I can't wait
for conversations,
face to face,
blended with
her choice and,
my Merlot.
The love
that we make
after our sips
to base
would be colors,
infinite.
Would be shades
of tastes
infinite.
Would be a blend
that defies
Cabernet Chauvignon.
Would be a spirit
as they call
a perfect blend..
a perfect wine.
~Teop

Who Wants.. To Live Forever!

You must be special..
you.. you unforgettable piece of memory.
For,
on some random
Thursday night
you still occupy
some heads,
some hearts..
far away from where you are.
For,
people down here,
still love you and,
think of a moment,
or two
with you
in it, them.
Perfect,
for a beautiful woman
that you were..
for a beautiful soul
that you are;
I want you,
to know that..
those heads,
those hearts..
with you,
now believe that..
'A thing of beauty
is a joy
forever'.

Teop

Depression is Golden

Moment and again,
when I stop trying
to be
a self-fixer,
I come to face
with this B side
of me,
within me.
It is a sucker,
for gloom.
It listens to the sermons
of crimson kings,
empathizes with
the melancholy
of as something
as small as
a gush of wind
not talking back to you.
Its a blizzard of crap,
when judged.
Its heart-breaking beautiful,
when felt.
Loathing in its love,
for such glooms, this morning,
it, yet again,
bows to the Crimson, King!
Partners in gloating,
in gloom.
~Teop

Lament Soda

Trying to figure
the remedy
the cure
the panacea.
All my life
I have
given and received
a 'to do' list
to work with
when sad, upset or depressed.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't fuckin work.

Teop.

Kintsugi

Lady, I love the process.
I spend the night
walking streets of downtown,
Auckland.
I perturb the colony of bees
of my thoughts
and let them buzz around,
disturbed by happening.
Worsts of me and,
bests of me
go naked in that cloud of buzz.
Lady, I contemplate my love
for strip-clubs,
I look a lost crowd of
women, gut-wrenching sexy.
And I miss you.
Not in a phoney, blank -
he-holds-her-so-tight
and-aah-i-wish-i-could-also-get-to-hold-you-tight-right-now.
It is more of wishing to
accept that these wishes are the cracks
in my whole
and I want you to see them,
acknowledge them,
try to love them
and hold me.
Because,
I know that
only you can.
I love this process
of thinking of my vices,
my cracks
and then thinking
that the comfort lies in
confession and acceptance.
You, my love, accept me.
~Teop

The Fallen One!


Everyday I sit down comfortably,
with my spine straight and
try to puncture
my spiritual heart to
let in some light
for the kaged Lucifer.
He ain't a bad guy,
I feel.
Just a helper with
not so kosher
means.
Some coming day
I would have
punctured it enough and
released the angel
who can't be mean
just because
he had a fall.
Some coming day,
I shall know
how it feels
to hangout
with the most honestly broken me.
~Teop

Purpose

The purpose
as I see
is to defragment oneself
and then face
and try to love
all the pieces.
It may take a lifetime
and there might be
some choices,
odd to make.
They might give one
an illusory feeling
of freedom -
the nature of choices being
having to choose between
fear and hope.
All, however, becomes interesting
when the superset of these bits
is called
destiny or be and
the only way therein
is acceptance.
Acceptance, unconditional,
is what it comes closest
to define
the abstract
we call love!
~Teop

Zaayka

Anyway..khana khaya ?
Paneer achaari tikka
Oh bete
Ye toh ultimate ho gaya hoga Tere liye 
Aji.. Mohabbat
Mohabbat se kamm nahi tha zaayka!
Zaayka ekdum waisa jaisa..
Us shaam airport pe jab
tujhe mere ko dhoondte door se dekha tha
aur fir ek dum tere saamne aakar
tujhe chooma tha aur fir..
zaayka jo tere hoton pe paaya tha !

Teop

Why!


Why do we love love or why do we love dark ? What is the fascination with importance of strength and belittling of weakness! Why is even the need to classify in extremes and why is there a need to adore or abhor? Why isn't normalcy a way ? Why is there a concept of god, light, divinity, bliss, source of life etc. ? Most of it is belief and named experience anyway! Why is there a need to name extremes, feelings, thoughts etc.? Why do we need such diversification ? What is so right with light and what is so wrong with dark ? I don't even know whether my questions are right considering my frame of observation and the paradigm that i am in. Why do i need these questions anyway !

Teop

Friday, June 19, 2015

Hollowness

I spent this week
taking a dip;
well.. more of a slip
into waters so cold,
in winters so cold,
brought down by
these clouds so cold.

My time down there
has been
spent finding the tribe
only to discover
that
the slip was unfortunate and,
each molecule around
only drained me
more.

The shy spent the time
searching love,
soaking lone.

And then,
I realized that
you weren't far away.
I called you
starry night
and I looked up
to catch a glimpse
of you .. My home.

But it was dark.
I was drenched dark
by the waters so dark,
in the winters so dark.
The stars were lost
and so was my starry night..
behind those clouds so dark.

~Teop

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Arts

My thoughts are complex results
of an even complex neurotransmission,
amalgamating the feeds
my brain has had
through these
insatiable senses.
So are yours.
But our waves -
they go out and
live the physics of fat books.
I think love, high, smiles and books.
Pretty artsy to say.
But then again,
science starts with imaginative art!
So,
imagine,
think awesome,
think of forces in nature,
think of love being made..

To Lei and Chris

Love, like it originated.
Like what has been told by
scriptures and tales.
A life that is a handful of togetherness
in far and spread out
fragments that one doesn't
understand.

In that little, beautiful
coffee shop,
she goes around serving
cocoa blends
and some smiles
to sweeten them.

Under that naked,
scarred and starred
endlessly vast skies,
he stood observing
and wondering -
why does it all seem like
her!

~Teop

Zara Rose

Your aroma is with me tonight.
I keep a piece
next to my pillow,
while the other
perfumes my days to come,
in my wardrobe.
Before embracing slumber
under this party of stars
I think of how
this night
is going to be and,
I envision myself
not taking a turn
away from you tonight.
I see myself evolving,
giving up on oxygen and,
breathing only the aroma
you exude.
Tonight, my mind goes still.
It flushes away the thoughts
about everything else.
Tonight, I am you.

~Teop

You Must Have Fallen From The Sky !

I just heard this being say
'You must have fallen from the sky'.
True enough, simple enough -
to feel for someone you love
like your first day of
being in love.
The extent to affectation
is minimal and,
the extent of cognition
is minimal.

Why can't it just be left
at that.
Like, love's definition, changed.
Changed to something
that, on this day,
is what one felt on that
first day !

~Teop

Erotica

A conversation
with you.
A listening me,
with an intent
to explore
your vastness.
An expressing you,
hurdled, stymied
by words
they invented,
trying to express
your vastness.
A listening you,
with an intent
to explore
my emptiness.
An expressing me,
stymied, hurdled
by words
they invented,
trying to tailor
what I
can pick up.
For I am all
but a closet poet
and my closet
is being filled
with our conversations
like these.
These conversations
are erotic.
I wish
I could
have all of them
making love
to you.

~Teop

The Human Condition is Upon Us

I don't want to
get onto that mountain top
and not be able to
think anything
significant.

I am better off
crashing on my couch
drunk as.. sea on water
and feel deeply
about this
about this
human condition
that's upon us
that's upon me.

~Teop

Found you !

Was just trying to find you,
trying to shoot out
those movie scene
with you and,
me.

Was just trying to find
the source of that
flow of harmony,
only to figure that
its in
those moments of solitude
with you and,
me.

~Teop

Magnanimity in Me

The abnormalities,
the negative adjectives
that bounce in vacuum
of my head,
the euphemisms of
struggle
to soothe my condition;
they all,
those all unacceptable, illegal,
instinctual and natural.

They all amalgamate
and flint start my first fire.
The fire of introspection.
The fire that illuminates
and lets me be the witness
to the magnanimity
of me.

~Teop

Acceptance

Lady, I love the process.
I spend the night
walking streets of downtown,
Auckland.
I perturb the colony of bees
of my thoughts
and let them buzz around,
disturbed by happening.
Worsts of me and,
bests of me
go naked in that cloud of buzz.
Lady, I contemplate my love
for strip-clubs,
I look a lost crowd of
women, gut-wrenching sexy.
And I miss you.
Not in a phoney, blank -
he-holds-her-so-tight
and-aah-i-wish-i-could-also-get-to-hold-you-tight-right-now.
It is more of wishing to
accept that these wishes are the cracks
in my whole
and I want you to see them,
acknowledge them,
try to love them
and hold me.
Because,
I know that
only you can.
I love this process
of thinking of my vices,
my cracks
and then thinking
that the comfort lies in
confession and acceptance.
You, my love, accept me.

~Teop

It Doesn't Work

Trying to figure
the remedy
the cure
the panacea.
All my life
I have
given and received
a 'to do' list
to work with
when sad, upset or depressed.

It doesn't work.
It doesn't fuckin work.

~Teop

Monday, May 4, 2015

Key

I have been
bought into
brought up into
a system
that
appears to limit
my life to 6-12 activity,
diminishing
my grandeur
my infinity
my essence and
my possibility.
On this Sunday noon
and a little after,
I still sit
condemning
my shackles,
finding keys
that are long lost.
But,
it is out there.
I know.
And so,
I tell the paper,
my story
to tell others
to look out
to look out
for this key
that I need,
that we need.

~Teop

Partners in Gloom

Moment and again,
when I stop trying
to be
a self-fixer,
I come to face
with this B side
of me,
within me.

It is a sucker,
for gloom.
It listens to the sermons
of crimson kings,
empathizes with
the melancholy
of as something
as small as
a gush of wind
not talking back to you.
Its a blizzard of crap,
when judged.
Its heart-breaking beautiful,
when felt.

Loathing in its love,
for such glooms, this morning,
it, yet again,
bows to the Crimson, King!
Partners in gloating,
in gloom.

~Teop

Hanging Out With Your Soul..

There are hipsters.
There are hippies.
There are more labels,
to beards, hair buns and back packs.
But I write from under the labels.
Bottle was my thing,
labels, not.
The gave words to how the bottle felt,
how the wine tasted,
the shutdown of cognition it brought.
That's how I explain my taste
of hanging out
with your soul.

~Teop

Words take her shape..

At times,
it left me confused.
I couldn't get if
she was the embodiment
of the words I brought together,

or, was it her soul
that worked as a magnet
to all the words
in my airy head
and brought them into an alignment -
a poem that resembled her!

~Teop.

Love..

My idea of love is to
capture bits of surrounds
find your high in them
project this high
to greater heights
only to end up
not being in peace
and then
moving out
to look for a mirror -
an impeccably honest mirror,
the closest pursuit in regard
being the soul of another meat suit wearer,
to witness itself,
to be aware of itself,
to experience itself -
very much what the universe is -
an awareness experiencing itself.

~Teop

Friday, March 27, 2015

Polar.Identity

A humongous quantum
of thoughts,
of beliefs,
of ways and,
of shades.
All so polarized,
into systems,
into schools,
into communities and,
into societies.
And here I am,
trying to lose
this tendency of subscription
to a polar life,
loving bits of materialism,
loving bits of spiritualism,
exploring my human vividness,
losing bits,
gaining bits,
flowing 
to lose 
the polar identity(s).

Jam. Pearl

Release. Black. Indifference. Immortality.
All songs.
Pearl Jam.
I'm drunk 
on mud house.
And back
to my naked state.
The human,
naked,
very much.
I think of humans
that
I have affected.
Love and hatred
are relative.
But
a thought
of a fellow human
in this hour
of nakedness
is absolute.
I think of you, all
love.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Thoughts!

Fledgling,
fleeting thoughts.
A perennial,
permanent picture,
You !

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Wine and My Woman

I'm at the beach and
there are no lights.
There's an ocean,
wild as our souls
There are stars,
broken and scattered and bright
as our lives.
And there is a limitless want..
of us.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Mr. Nobody

Diminished and
stupefied
by fleetingly flourished and 
unjustly glorified.
Not sad,
not weak,
not envious,
just angry.
Pure angry.
Angry at unfairness
of cards
of fate.
Angry at efforts
neglected,
nullified.
Angry at world,
inconsiderate,
oblivious and,
blind.
Angry at somebody
I get to see
morning after morning
in a mirror so unkind.
Angry at my belief
of myself.
Angry at this Mr Nobody,
in me,
on me..
a dust-ridden science book
in the down right corner
of that old
wooden shelf.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Nirvaan!

Thinking of humans
as majestic souls
overlapping
crossing
touching and
blending
in one another.
Walking through
one such revelry
with an awareness
of this sorts,
I feel like a drop
of a color so deep.
My source
of color
is infinite and
I am under a fall
so free.
Through this soft cloud
of souls
that I fall,
my color
stains it beautifully.
We all fall this way
and its beautiful
to think
of an end
that has
an infinite mass
of this cloud,
stained with zilllions of
shades of color..
The Perfect Blend of Souls..
I call it Nirvaan!

Monday, February 23, 2015

For Sweetz

Sweetz, there is a list of facts
that never ceases to gladden me.
The fact that stars shall always
be visible to us.
The fact that ice cream exists and,
the fact that U n I love ice candy.
The fact that mountains exist
with their addictive air.
The fact that no food can satisfy us,
like food made by our mums.
The fact that Zara Rose
smells like you and
the fact that I don't like to say this
the other way round.
The fact that I love us and,
the fact that I love you !

For Love of Olya..

The transience of this moment is strange.
The train takes me away from you
but my head, occupied by your thoughts,
brings me closer to you,
as I think
of the peace in the hours
we spent together
and the ease with which
the time seemed to pass by.

The tears in your eyes were heartfelt
and so was my hold,
as the warmth of our togetherness
was the warmest thing I felt,
on that night so cold.

The intoxication I had
through your brightly smothered lips
had me asking for more
while you convincingly told me
about the fate's plan for 'us' in store.

To let go of you, to see you off
was the hardest thing to do that night,
as I knew
that the next morning will see me wanting
and missing you by my side.

Its a love unsaid-unconfessed
but feels more real.

You may call it platonic but,
I love the associated cosmic mystery
that plays right above!

Books

I feel odd sometimes
for the books
and the texts.
When I make love 
to my lady,
she shares with me
her heaven, her vulnerability.
I share with me
my nakedness, my natural availability.
But the books
and the texts,
I can't give them back
while they fill me up
and clear my head.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Hobo in Thoughts

I'm the mindless tree
that sways
with each wind gush
it gets and
bathes in it
with all merriment.
I'm the sparrow
picking food and chirruping
all the while
there's light.
I'm the waves
that love
their share of shore
through an endless flow
of time.
I'm the river
making its way
through and around things,
taking some part of them along,
imparting them shapes
through time.
I'm the bee
pollinating flowers,
making hives and
ascribing to certain rituals
with strong natural logic.
I'm connected.
I'm restless.
I'm nature.
I'm flow.
I'm lost in a wide spectrum of thoughts,
thinking some,
touching some,
chewing some,
adopting some,
continually mesmerized by vastness
and connectedness.