Your body is gone. Your voice.. your touch.. your giggles.. your deep eyes.. your right cheek 'til'.. your crooked tooth.. your breezy~night hair.... all of it.. is gone. But then again, it was something deeper 'we' were. It was something strong; strong enough to get me to be sure. Sure.. I haven't been more sure of any thing else in my life than of 'we'.. you and me.
I haven't seen you since 16.41 10.10.10.. the last I have of you.. the last blink.. the last faint smile with the setting sun; leaving the city where the 'princess stays'. Times have always brought 'good byes' and.. a I have left 'we' with those. At times, I've thought of you, missed the old days, felt for you to come back - nostalgic. At times, I have laughed at all innocent days.. smiled at all beautiful and clock-resisting moments - love. And at times, I have forgotten you - hate.
Its the later ones which kill me now. A few more memories with you.. a few more of times, of you splitting up into innocent laughter and seeming more angelic then ever; would have sufficed to erase these of. But then again.. its never enough of you that I've, had. Some hands just fit so well together, cup the faces perfectly.. and are adequately soft to gently wipe away the flowing eyes blues. You just wish to have 'em along in your life only to come to a realization that your wishes don't exactly coincide with the fate's. And so.. not being with you, I find ways to live you - close my eyes, play that song and enter the world 'we' made for ourselves.. my 'we'-life span of 8 years.
I see you betting me an excellent test for a chocolate (a sweet-tooth that you've always been) and I had no option but to excel. I got you smiling at me and it started. In a fist of fury, I tear-off a note; for you shouldn't read. You get up, grab the torn-pieces, fix 'em back into a note.. and hand me back with a sorry. The eerie on your angelic face melted the icy furors off my head forever. Then you took me on a journey and I told an untold-myself to you; all those life-years of things and events and memories waiting to be told. You learned me and I learned an unlearned-myself. Felt strong within, felt known within. You made me. Bonding over school-lunches, yellow lunch-box, class notes you did for me in your true-heart hand-text, endless hours on phone calls with you always having a lott to tell..
"Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences...
Our school trip to Jabalpur, first ever long-times with you seemingly getting shorter.. why I didn't ever want to let go of those hands on the backseat and the world they made me enter into, a world where I need not know many people and I'm at ease with someone who knows me.. where I could take comfort in just someone's presence, where togetherness just fall short to apprehension. To see the lazy silk of your hair live up to the winds and living the moment with a traversing moon's radiance on the calmness of other's. God.. why wouldn't have I loved you !
Tossing a coin and having a unison of flip-sides to you! Strangely happened to us with separation and union stepping in together. Nevertheless.. there was something bigger taking care.. an 'us' within. Reason for my smiles in gloom, reason for my gloom too.. and what a high it was to see you again ! Slowed up memories-in-making through a spurred-up-rushing 31.08.08. 'Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me' with mild-head-shakes and across the perfectly sized coffee table.. I could smile with an 'amen' ! The floral white skirt flowing with the mild air.. and I'd just grab it, preserve your modesty and you'd just splash up a laughter; on a quintilis rendezvous. God.. I so wished for that muffler to keep you warm in the next winters.. but you just wouldn't let me be buy it to you. We'd make weird faces and photograph ourselves at the railway station.. and the note 'Jab We Met.. 10.10.10'... The last I got to be with you..
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you..."
