Makin' the Start.. meet the End !

The end.. of the quad-year engineering saga; a rainy august '06 start met a rain-awaiting june '10 end !

The start.. amateurish young 12th/junior college pass-outs; some, like them, knowing what they're here for.. some, like us, having no idea and goin' with the flow ! The orientation program and i'm-so-supporting-cool-awesome speeches by the teachers apparently promised high standards only to divert 'them' towards pearson, tmg etc and 'us' folks towards techmax, nirali and 'no' etc. :D

The first year saw new friendships being made, alikes partnering, nerds buying books, some romantiques kikin' off and some findin' it troublin' to lure their distant hearts !

Studying was a 'through the semester' phenomenon for un-aware were we of the 'system' and one night stands and jigarrrrr ! Time was fun-short, 'zest' earned a big buck from regular occupant 'groups'.. and fridays-saturdays often saw rushing to new releases.. and innocence was 'the' binder !

Come second year.. we, us and them, started to realize the 'system' and what the deal is ! Studies for 'us' got shifted to semester end.. 'them' still runnin' for their targets.. 'us' caught up booze-buddy combos and unlimited fun times and made 'the' friends..
Many a 'them' joined 'us' !

Third year saw 'us' getting loaded with concepts from all over the world.. some void theories some validated ones.. some questions we never thought of in our farthest of angelic/demonic dreams ! Added fire was... approaching 'placement' season and 'work-hard-times-are-tough' suggestions poured in from every one who could speak.. 'recession' enlightened them and made us slog our pre-screwed asses more to end up with a job ! Exams now seemed like yaar-kitni-baar, for their news filling the air every three months ! And all this while the cruelty-cold-heart index was exponentially rising every submission season and with rise of facebook, many we-talk-on-facebook-not-in-real-life friends were formed, only to become good ones !

Frequently there were voices regarding 'ye stationary bhot mehengi hai', 'meri bunksheet accept ni hui yaar', 'paagal hai saala, dekhiyo itna bola, still 30 marks', 'shit yaar fir fine lagaaya saalo ne', 'id card-stationary-hall ticket conspiracy', etc... These generally went unanswered, as known to all since inception, but.. who cares.. it was 'fun @ cost' !

Come final year, many got jobs, many stugglin' to get one..
As suggested by seniors.. the procedure in 'every aspect' is 'relaxed' during BE.. but 'we' didn't see that in any respect.. teachers were at their best cruel behavior with 'us' still wondering 'isko teacher kisne banaya', submissions still sucked a lot of energy, bunksheets were still not accepted, fine-slab touched skies, papers still seemed screwy and 1st semester results were far from being 'generous' ! As usual.. innocent hopes shattered ! But if 'we' all suffered.. we were together in that too !

Today, I don't regret this engineering thing I chose.. I've come a long way, learnt things, made friends, seen how things work, life works.... what's with feeling the pressure ! Though I still cant make out for entropy and enthalpy :).. I've learnt bigger, better things here.. which shall always be there..

I hated it.. many a times.. today.. I love it !

Dhruvvv !

~amor mio

"You love it.. don't you ?!"

She smiles. He knows.. she does.

"Lets take a walk.."

~walk.. on this glistening deserted road, while soft showers gently moisten her fairness.. cold-mild breeze makes trees signal 'shhhh...' to each other; as if to listen to the words he has for her..

"Its getting cold.. here.. have this" and he wraps her up in his jacket.. and she manages all the cuteness in the world.. all at once ! While she adjusts to the warmth in his veil.. he hands her a fresh-moist violet rose he picked up on his way back and all this time was hiding it under his sleeve; she.. flashes some innocence and light into the moist and gloom... he'd never miss a chance to make her happy, would do anything for her to smile this way !

She holds his hand.. all her fingers hugging his; thinks 'not leaving you anymore.. no.. never again'.... something on his mind.. something on hers..

He suddenly stops.. she walks 2 steps ahead; stops; turns around.. only to find him down on his knee and gesture-asking for her hand.. tryin' to do something that just flashed into his mind, for he knows her and what she likes! Her heart pumps all the blood it could.. at one go.. she wanted this.. she didn't.. she did.. she didn't.. no no.. she did.. she wanted him yes.. she did.. and all of this coming together was beyond her imagination..

She submits her hand into his.. and he looks..

..into her eyes of the color of distant love;
..her hands, made of white topaz;
and her lips move, silent, in a coral light..

..then, blinking his eyes as if to be out of a dream, he slides a paper-ring he made on the way, onto her ring finger.. ticking her heart through the vena amoris.. she smiles her never-been-so-happy-heart out. She'd expected this.. but THIS.. a gentle rain.. a violet rose.. a paper ring.. a desolate-street-side-on-knee proposal was something she'd never imagined coming to her, together; all the elements, he knows, she loves! She is special.. he likes to make her feel so..

No sooner.. the smile gets blended with some tears.. tears.. for she'd never been happier.. she nods; he gets up and in the moment; perfectly stolen from life.. he bends forward.. meets her desire-defining moist lips under the infinite sky.. makes his way to her heart. They kiss..

..their first kiss somehow got them away.. this, the second, brought them together for an eternity..

"Why do you still love me so much ?"

"I love you.. just 'cause its you.. the one I love"

That smile -)

Today.. while driving back home.. some thought made me smile.. it was a flash of your smile !

Your smile.. the one which is as fresh as a winter-morning-moist-red-rose-bud, is an embodiment of assurance, naughtiness, love, accomplishment, care, understanding, warmth, togetherness, 'totally'....

You saw me doing something for you and I did something real stupid.. you smiled. I realized.. and then tried a rose.. you smiled !

I'm tryin' being a smart fella.. fakin' an accent while talkin' to someone.. he doesn't realize.. you do.. and -)

..and when I saw you, all soaked up in rain.. comin' to join me at a cafe.. u settled and got caught up in self-talking-downpour-@-odd-times-look-i-had-to-be-there-now-i'm-all-wet-kya-yaar, then u looked at a silent me, enjoyin' the 'show'.. and you smiled !

In a movie hall.. grooming my hair to catch the attention of a stunner only not to find it and instead.. your smile !

On a bad day I had.. your smile relieved me and promised a good next day !

An easy friend.. who 'knows'.. I found in you and a biggg bonus.. a serene smile of yours ! A smile.. always there to cover up for the words and better.. lets me know that I'm yours..

And.. on an early morning, when I couldn't resist the charm on your face and kept lookin' at a sleepin' you.. you smiled and opened up your eyes.. giving me every reason to thank god for ever !

I loved Julia Roberts and when you happened to me.. booommm.. I had mine :)

D..

smokinn gal !

Standing by my window, I beat the heat with a drink ! and my said attempt goes into vain, as this hottie walks in..

Amazed.. I'm ! With the skimp she has on her, what they call, 'the hour glass'; while an unaware she, lights some tobacco on her balcony ! 'Susie Q' is what the singer in the background is singing about.. and its what the viewer, me, is gazing at ! Damn.. she is exactly what it takes for a gentleman in you to lose himself for a while and an engineer in you to make close measurements of distant objects :)

In the evening.. while I reach for the curtain.. I spot her once again ! Dripping she.. draped in a white wipe this time.. smokin' again.. and makin' her own lil-hott contribution to 'Global Warming' ;)

My not-so-important-so-far window suddenly has now gained a significant place in my-homey-favorite-possessions.. and now.. i spend more time walking around my apartment.. for obvious reasons existing across the window vent :)

Dhrooooov !

~Fix Me~

What I don't want.. sticks around;
What I want.. doesn't stay !

Seems like.. 'being misunderstood' and 'not trusted' are now profile defining qualities; contrary to my understanding of myself.

So.. I've been made to believe that I'm so good at screwing up the 'perfect' and.. I suck :|

Things may 'end' up fine.. but.. what comes along the way to the 'end' makes it all taste so god-darned aweful.. Instead of livin'-it-enjoyin'-it through, I end up hatin'-it-condemnin'-it..

I don't know whats wrong.. if it is~
I don't know what to do about it.. even if a solution exists~

Losin' the not-to-be-lost.... saga.. continues !

Searching for the 'lights'.. I believe.. they'll guide..

Dhruv..

''What up !?''.. when I miss you !

You know.. its nothing special-too-down-love-in-mind situation when I think of you.. miss you !

Its more of like.. a click.. a flash.. givin' me a snap-shot in my mind.

The snap has you.. on scrolling and panning a bit.. I find myself around..

Next; I recall the 'moment'.. it makes me :)..

I pick up my cell phone.. go to the text editor..

Within no time.. you receive a text asking 'What up !?'..

All my heart..

Dhruv..

Everything's gonna be all-right !

Been through an upsetting part;
May be.. the board quite didn't get the dart..

She is like "For a while, I want to be alone";
I'm like "Don't be upset, it will soon be gone"..

I had a rough day, life's not good;
Sweetz.. stick around.. you'll really find the gold you should..

Why me;
'cause there always are flips n flops honey..

What should I do;
Don't worry.. we'll figure something out, once you are through..

....

I'm sorry;
Sweetz..for that you never have to worry..

Have a nice life.. don't lose it 'cause of a setback.. u'll do better and things will be awesome.
I have faith in you.

Dhruv..