One Fine Day -)

A lousy-full-of-lectures-too-many-notes day in college may not necessarily end up being lousy !

Good things happen and happiness comes in small packages. The day adds-up to the firmness of the belief :)

An unexpected-light-on-pocket-so-so-tasting lunch during a cold-morning-warm-afternoon day at a yet undiscovered 'Mitraan Da Dhaba' on college road, in days when we are as broke as each other, as broke as we always are in a month-end !...so....good things do happen :)

Now..the small package part ! My sweet lil friend...Kiddie...is a small package :p. She is this sweet-small-town-girl who loves to dress herself up with goodies and shop..a lot :). She has got this fine air of innocence and nonchalance in every move. A rose is just enough to make the lil angel smile to the depth of her heart ! Have known this delicate doll-darling for 4 years now and the girl has been special since then...for you don't generally have a girl-friend (not girlfriend !) who just loves to wear 'chhote-chhote kapde' :P.

She is from a town too close to mine..and I still wonder (and so does she..I came to know this today !) as if this all is a setup ! Incidently..I come to MITCOE..so does she. We are unknown to each other. I get in a particular division of FE and so does she..in the same division. I'm seated in a bench right behind her only to befriend her and discover 'Oh ! You're from Maihar...:) I'm from Satna !'

Lucky to have you Kid..:)

Today, 4.30 pm. Me and kiddie go to CCD-LCR. We have the same orders for again..4 years now. She is 'Iced Eskimo' and I'm 'Tropical Iceberg' :P and whenever we meet at this very CCD...its these drinks and all the current state of affairs (;)) and there is some fun and some words of wisdom and lots of innocence :)

Having done with CCD we leave for KP..aimlessly. On the way she decides to get an Osho chappal for herself (God ! Don't they get bugged up of 'em ?!) but ends up with a colored strand of hair (nonchalance !..but great :)) spending every possible buck ! So now..we are left with these 20 bucks...and we want to have 'The Lane 6 Momos' !
My place is near..so we go there...collect 'chillar' as and where I find it...worth 12 bucks :)

Maths:-

20 + 12 = 32 bucks.

Momos = 25 bucks.

Savings = 7 bucks !! :)

So...One Fine Day :)

Dhruv. .

P.S. Satna to Maihar = 32 Kms :)

To you..again..

This morning..my mind was troubled. Many a things were just coming in and disturbing my mind. May be; these were the remains of the day before or lets say..remains of the day(s) before..

Nothing seems convincing to me in this state of mind. I try to find flaws in every damn thing/person. I think negative...'cause nothing seems to be going positive...and then...I wish I had you V. I could just tell you everything and be better off..'cause you'd have listened to me..and would've tried and convinced me that 'everything will come right'..

But...I don't have you.

:|

D. .

P.S.I'm never gonna tell you about my blog...I don't know why.

One. .

I'm sober.

Sometimes..I feel..is it too necessary to be that perfect person !?

I'm not perfect so...I hate myself...really.... do I ?! Or I want to be 'that' someone else...do I ?!

A slight unawareness of things can fuel up the screwing-up process of my a**. The good I do to the world is never accounted for unless exhibited. People are after me to make my thought theirs. I am asked to do things and be something which I don't want to ! Why is my life so controlled and watched out for. At a point...in this big big crowd where I am nothing (Am I?....nah I'm not..am i ?.. :(() why the expectations from me are so high. Academic pressure...the pressure of life...responsibilities...am I too young...'cause I think I'm not ready...while people think that I'm :|...confused ! This quarter-life-crisis is confusing me and I'm unsure about...well...almost everything :|

I want to be 'The One'...ammm...not sure :|

But..circumstances make me 'one' of 'em...

What to do ?! 'cause I'm so confused...so I settle for 'lets-see-go-with-the-flow' life...wherein..I console myself with 'my-life-has-just-begun'..though I'm already 21 !

That last line...rhymes :P

Dhruv. .

~Crooked and Strong~

Its a recall of events..

Look at this photograph......



Its been an year since this one was taken..thanks Aniket. It was hung in Sagar's kitchen all this while...but three days back when that shitty beer was in...it tasted/tastes awful yet it helped this masterpiece find its deserved place. I..dont know why..took it off the kitchen wall and started searching for a suitable wall, post my "yaar ye yahan sahi nai hai" and the reciprocation "haina !"...(can't recall rest :p)

My search for that "sahi" wall ends up in vain, 'cause non of 'em has a nail :|.

But..I'm a mechanical engineer...and to my advantage..a lil on the higher state of mind :p. I find a pair of converse shoes of Sagar (he doesn't wear 'em any more...KP once wore 'em)...unwind the laces out...'I'm gonna hang it..fuck nail and its absence' ;)

Back in the party-den-fun-room..Sagar's bed cum computer room...'the room' ;).I tie an end of the lace to one of those tube-light holders by a hang-knot...pass it through the nail slot in the photo-frame...and tie the other end to the second holder of the tube-light....while standing on a shrieking chair and Anant holding the frame all this while...as clueless as me...as to what are we up to ?!!

Nothing more of it that day.

Next day...Anant meets me with "Photo to sahi lag gai yaar.." !

Same day...I go to Sagar's. The photograph is at place we tied-fixed-hanged it but....is crooked :) A thought crosses my mind (..come on..I'm sober)...photograph is crooked...may be the way we are right now...but "ye dosti bhot strong hai" :)

Dhruv. .

To you. .

I'm sober.
Been an year today. Sometimes...heart aches for not being your 'special one' anymore but it can't be helped either. So..no hard feelings; no criticisms; no blame-game....just something about you V...and about..us.

Met you first in July 2004 and the friendship struck with that 'Chocolate Bet' over a mathematics unit test of 20 marks..and you won it. I was much of an introvert but I guess you knew that; for you always struck first and made me comfortable. The yet unknown girl from Kanpur was now a dear friend and making the misery of getting into KV fade away...Life started to feel b'ful and happiness was all around with you. Could talk to you endlessly...you seemed inexpressibly cute when you tried a lot yet couldn't say 'Tarrrrr..'...I started enjoying your presence and company. Hadn't had a 'good' friend...you fit in the shoe so perfectly. It wasn't love.

For the first time...I had started writing and I recall the time when you read it...and in a fist of fury I tore it apart and threw away the pieces (to the date..I don't know why). Next..you did what no one else could ha done..you recollected the torn pieces from outside the window...joined them back together and gave 'em back to me with a sorry. Something felt different within...hence forth...I felt the romance in the air blended with symphony of love...I was struck...

Towards the end of session 2004-05...I proposed my love to you (how stupid I was to do that on a phone call :p)...you were awe struck...and I was hell scared..didn't want to lose that friendship with you so I asked Abhi to tell you that it was just some-sort-of-practice (soo sooo soooo stupid of me !) But...(thank God!)..you didn't let anything change and we ended up becoming better friends. I still cant figure out what did we talk on the phone for hours; though we saw each other almost daily ! I joined that tution class so that I could get to be with you :p (may be I never told you this). I loved that chipki-hui-maggi-in-yellow-tiffin-box :) and also loved your writing on my notebooks and journals (you used to do a lot of completion work for me ! ;))..and back home I had every reason to wait for your calls and your cute-endless-bak-bak :)..many a times I didn't get much of it..but it was too lovely to be stopped :). Like a perfect temptress, you showed your signs...but never verbally came to those words...mind mind was always like..I'll-do-that-smart-thing-and-you'll-say-the-words.I was your 'Idiot'..something you calle d an abbreviation for 'I Do Ishq Only Tumse'..:) Damn...I was so in love with you..

Time passed by..as usual..at a much faster rate than one would expect :| but you still hadn't expressed, though your actions could say the story...:). Those long hours of holding your hand in mine on the back seat of the bus..and the way we planned 'our' home there...loved the moment...it was complete and awesome.

Towards the end of Std XII..it was sure that we were not gonna be together anymore...for you dad was getting transferred to Delhi. The very thought of not being with you depressed me like anything...and finally the day came...24th June, 2006.

You were leaving for delhi...and we all fiends came to see you off, at the railway station...I constantly faked the smile on my face 'cause...you were gonna leave...I didn't know when I'd see you next...how would I be with you...what would happen to our yet undefined relationship........I was devastated...

Same day...back @ home...at around 8.30 pm..I received a text message from an unknown number saying "I 4 U...V"
It was your dad's cell number and it was your text....for me !! I was happy beyond forever :))...the moment I waited for..!

I moved to this city in west India while you went to Delhi. Lots of shyness flooded in; for we were in a relationship now..and both of us still kiddish without any sign of maturity on either side...but it was b'ful :)...simple :)...loving :)....and distant :((. With time...shyness faded (completely...never :p)and we got to understand each other better. Your being with me in every phase became my strength...a perfect partner I could ever dream of..I discovered it in you for you were one hell of a company to share all the stuff in my mind with :)

With time...the distance began to pin...We could talk on phone..could text...but..something was missing. In this while..we met 4 times...I remember mom catching me pulling your cheek :). That b'day trip...that movie in Satyam...and the perfect moment...I wished it to be ever-lasting...:(

With different life-styles, schedules and the distance...things started to fade away...it was not like before...we talked less...texted more...sometimes I failed to communicate..sometimes you....and we started losing it..

The midnight hung b/w 16th and 17th of Jan 2009 finally took away my most precious possession from me....a relation with you. We sort of..broke up...:(


We still are best of friends...not just to say. Something that went missing for a while...something that had brought us together...now exists again and will..forever.....an understanding friendship.

Thanks for being there V.

Forever indebted to you; for what you made out of me...

Dhruv. .

Today :|

Start a day un-bathed..
only to make it to the class in time. Success or no-success..lies in the hand of the lecturer..master of the puppets cause according to him 5 mins late in his lecture means u're no good a creature on earth and u dont even deserve(and so you don't !) to sit for the second one too..

Heads down..saddie..walk a few steps to the fresh-crisp-8.37-am-sun-light adoring the balcony near by...aahhh...its soothing to be here..no more walking with heads down; koi ni yaar will be on time tomorrow :) sunny-lil-bit-of-cold-morning is good :)...havent made it to this first lecture in past 3 days :|..koi ni..just the first week...long way to go...sun's b'ful...oh ! colorful..the beautiful one ;)

...and the fun kept coming ! Just after the second lecture (fortunately/unfortunately I got to attend it).."Maraaaj Kitthhe ?!...ground pe mil" and we meet there to watch Mechanical vs. IT volley-ball match amongst "bahilalas and balbir pashas ;)"..some mechanical student specific slangs. Every average looking girl passing by, finds attention with "Oh O O O..Oh O O O ;)" by mechanical engineering boyss. IT loses to us..huh..just another brick in The Wall...also Mech's basketball team defeated EnTC's team which by far was considered as a threat. Anant played a hero today ( :p ).."chalgaiyyyya" !

Me and Sagar, then, missing a girls' handball match (why is it even a sport ! I guess..just something exclusively for male spectators :p)..go to FC's 'Smoking Stairs' to pick up Sagar's home door lock keys from Nishant bhaiyya..and ask Anant to take an auto to Sagar's place and wait there..(eventually...we forget this :P)

On way back from FC..we go tho Big bazaar 'cuz Sagar wants to get these knickers and sweat shirts...earlier during the ride we decided on changing our usual loose-shirt-dirty-jean-rugged-shoes-poor-guy getup to that of 'rich' guys so...sweat shirts and knickers :p

In the real big big..big bazaar we get real cheap deals (Damn..they dress up Dhoni and Asin real bad..but spend some time and you can surely end up with some good stuff ;})
He gets a pair of knickers and though it wasn't my shopping day..I end up with a couple of boxer shorts and a real cheap sweater (wear it..and you can surely let the people know "dude..its cold" :P). The sweater is interesting though..I'm gonna look like a perfect writer with that sweater on (Sagar said so !) and so after leaving the billing counter and moving a couple of yards...."nah ! I should get it" :p..and I do get it..I love it..its awesome..its 2.30 pm.



"Dhokebaaaaz...bhediye ho tum dono"...says Anant on fone @ 6pm. :p


Dhruv. .

P.S.Words of wisdom. Tomorrow Mechanical plays against IT in basketball finals..I wish we win and Anant keeps up high spirits and performs awesome. ;)

We're never gonna stop this train. .

Sitting at a side grass, near Mech porch. I'm wondering...do I really belong here; as a part of this crowd. Its been a long span of almost 4 years now..since I've been in this city..Pune. Coming here was not a choice...it was more of kinda...circumstances driven action. I've always believed that all that happens, is for one's good in some way or the other and so once again I just let it go...and believed it to be something good for me...besides...I had just entered into a relationship, so I was kinda..world-is-so-beautiful-when-u-r-here-with-me. But...eventually...i had to be with the people here since she was too distant to physically be with. And then it started....

The discovery of self. I had started missing Maa, papa, home, small-town warmth and every possible thing in that front...I started to like photography and no more remained a tea-tottler. I started wanting to travel through road...unlike before, I started to like biking....Pink Floyd and Nirvana started to make some sense to me. Break-up brought buddies closer and developed 'that' inexpressible bond. Booze came in blended with some melody and feeling of loss gave way to something-good-on-the-way. Being here started to make sense...found best of friends..memories were created. Cried to papa when I felt too heavy..never did that before...never felt like leaving home whenever I happened to go there...cried in train back to pune..cuz I missed Maa...was never able to decide on the answer to "What do you want to do in future ?" but now it troubled less than it did before..for though funny, but now I have an answer to this and I'm gonna try my level best to make it realize !

'All is over..nothings gonna be fine..all bad happens to me'....slowly got away from me and slowly I changed to 'everything's gna work out..dont worry'..a worth transformation for me for; I lost it when I dint get through AIEEE cutoff for centre but ended up in MIT only to find my life and self..good ! I lost it when she(P) left..but today I hardly think about her, many a things in world are yet to be thought about...good ! I lost it when V broke up with me..but today I know that someone is on way to me...good ! Was too frustrated and low spirited for not getting placed since the season started..but out of blue Essar happened...good...

Have come a long way. Long way to go. I have faith that everything is gonna workout someway cause the heart of life is good. The Train never stopped...we're never gonna stop it....

Dhruv..

Someone !

At the moment..somewhere deep inside my heart..I'm wishing you were real, while my mind is enjoying "Kurdt Kobain"...no its not a spell-error of Kurt Cobain..its just something he was for himself in his mind-heart war.

Saw someone like you in an Instant Karma video, heard someone like you in a girl I knew, felt being with someone like you while I was with someone, saw your delicacy while those water splashes woke up someone like you in a honeymoon boat, loved the giggly laughter of someone like you, admired the cuteness of someone like you being not able to speak a specific word, wish I could capture someone like you in a black and white photograph that could adore our abode, that little act of maturity by someone like you which left me craving for you, those numerous colors on someone like you made me colorblind, someone like you who didn't know how lovable and cute she actually was/is, someone like you who could rejoice even the slightest gesture of affection, someone like you who always wanted her man to buy her a rose, call her from work and open a door for her, someone like you who wished her man to express his love for her by the look in eyes, someone like you who could make life simpler with that serene smile, someone like you who could be a shoulder in all the extremities of life, someone like you who could do silly things and generate smiles in grave situations, someone, who were clad in a Roberto Cavalli having a classic-roof-top-candle-lit-dinner with me and were as much innocent and fun as the one to have an early-cold-morning-distant-tapri-chai with....like you, someone who'd have a world-cup-winning-team's-captain-like satisfaction on her face by getting into those old pair of denims...very much like you, that very-much-required-not-asked-for-but-understood-just-by-you hug given by someone like you, that ice-cream in an icy cold night savored by someone like you, that spontaneous idea of a long drive that was always "totally" for someone like you, someone who'd just love to get soaked up in rain...anytime...like you..
Someone...who could just make the worth-living-life (I'm totally in love with life :)) sugary-spicy....and b'ful...
Someone...whom I love like...forever...and someone...who loves me like...forever.unconditionally.

Someone like you...

I know you are on your way...to form that 'us'.

Love you.

Dhruv. .

Roadtrip !

Thursday aka "Weekly Trip Day" (Hence Forth :D), 7th Jan

At around quarter to 11 the god-sent...Anant calls me up with "Maae...kuch karo....kahin chalte hain". Being bugged up myself...yeah...I'm in ! I say "Call up Sagar, jagah decide kar...Aniket ko bhi bula le...fir mujhe bata de....main aata hoon".

5 minutes later. "Aa ja...Lavazza chalenge....Sagar ke ghar pe mil"..."Ok...coming in an hour".

@Sagar's place. Ritesh bhaiyya is so into body building (literally :p)...leading to a kitchen filled up with health supplements, proteins etc. and he has this "shake me zapper" in his hands preparing health drinks time to time. Its...'now or never' this time....the 4th time :p

So after spending a couple of more hours improving India's civic conditions, discussing a country to settle in and 12-string guitar....we realize ki its toooo late for Lavazza now ! Its 2 pm !

So we are heading to Mulshi now...2 bikes...3 not-so-sensible-sab-sahi-hai-mechanical-engineers with the god-sent adamant on driving one of them (obviously he's not getting anyone on his back seat being an amateur ;) )

"Abe photo le....sahi waali" yells Anant while driving (You can imagine the level of excitement when some amateur gets to drive on a hill side...and cherry on the cake..its Anant :p)

"Pose de...thora attitude ke saath....haan ab idhar dekh............bhayankar....bhai aaj aa gai hai faaad foto ;) ;)" says the current backseat-is-good-to-look-around-atleast-I'll-get-some-photos-huh positioned me...damn it...I want to drive...I love it...to feel the cool air on face :(

We stop to buy some cold-drinks and hence on....yeah....I'm the new rider replacing Sagar :) Anant still gets to drive....we usually enjoy him pretending confidence ;) ;)

So now search for some water-side to crash by and have some fun, starts....in b/w we take a break at a roadside and have the said cold-drinks ;) and click some photographs.



The place we find to crash by is behind a small hay-farm...we see this young boy there and ask him to let us in. Then comes the "oh !" moment....rear brake of the bike driven by Anant shows a failure...the "nut's missing" (thats how Anant has been quoting it since then ;) ). He tries to play a cheap trick to get the missing nut....and is stopped by the said boy ! The boy...here he is..photographed by Sagar...


We head to the water-side....nearby a not-so-Indian-eastern-western group is having drinks with barbaque ! (Their ethnicity though much seems like Iranis, Anant thinks they are north east Indians...God Knows Why !) and so me and Sagar get off our respective pants (Yes ! We do have boxers and we wear 'em too) and get into the water. By the time we get back...Anant finds that he ain't wearing no boxers ;) but the water is tempting so...he gets in with his jeans on and then, we, as usual pooooore mazze lene ke liye, start throwing stones into the water near where he stood in (Sagar urged that the stones should be BIG ;)) and as and when he is all wet...no more stones ;).
We rest there for a while, have "Pehelwan ki Nutties" (No pun intended :p....its a sweet dish) and I take a shot of the shimmering water (below)....


So now...we are ready to leave. On our way...we stop for a meal at a dhaba....and we have Maharashtrian Chinese food and a too-bad-to-get-into-the-foodpipe tea :|
On the road. After a few miles...my bike comes up with "Dude....petrol ?!" shit man ! shit shit shit shit...Anant is racing ahead, can't see us (me and Sagar), has my mobile phone which has balance while leaving us with a no petrol bike, a no balance cell phone :(.
Bad news never had Good timing.
We drag...drag.....drag....oh ! dhalaan finally...................drag...drag...drag. The distance...about 5 km or so !

Finally, we get to a petrol pump.....fill in...and....its dark already....so we head back home.

Nothing crazy after that :|

Dhruv. .

P.S.India defeats bangladesh !

United We Stand !

"We need a separate state..Telangana" "20 new states formation requests pending with central govt"

WTF...When are we gonna grow up and look up to a bigger picture...India. Why are we losing the thing for which we almost waited for a century and a half ! We are breaking like anything...communal politics is taking a huge toll on India's future and causing its uncertainty to increase by leaps and bounds. When are we gonna stop "all-praise-for-my-state-my-language-blah-blah" and look for the common medium which binds us...a common cause. Why cant we love someone from a different region in country....he is as Indian as I'm..as u are....that is what we call ourselves right ! "Indians"...why not actually be one instead of just limiting it to ideals and books ?!

We don't hate each other that much....do we ?! We ought to be together. Its a no-hidden fact that the "west and its culture" that we frequently criticise is actually more united and patriotic than we are...the reason I see is a common medium of communication.

Not to harm any regional sentiments but...why don't we use the common medium of communication...I know its a small thing but I feel that Hindi language is understood and can be spoken by maximum of Indians...and so it can turn to be a good binding medium for "We...The People"

Buona Sera ;)

Dhruv. .

Sagar gets his Jean and we get a hangover !

"Yaar..kapde toe dila do" says Sagar. We, Anant and me, are sitting opposite him in Richie Rich, having meal and sipping in Ice tea. Its damn hot...in here. Its 4th of Jan and still...oh ! come on...we deserve some chillin n bitin cold !!

We go to Central E-Square on my activa and Sagar's pulsar. This time, usually i-will-drive-pulsar anant is having a gastric problem due to burger+my "dibba" in his stomach :p, so he gets to sit behind Sagar while I drive my brakeless activa. As I expected, we dint get anything here but Anant's gas relief. So now...he's gonna drive and just see him pretend confidence :P cuz i know..he is hell scared as well as excited to same extent while he drives ! We head to Camp.

I regret not eating non-veg ! Even with two of my best of buddies, I feel secluded when it comes to food. They (Sagar and Anant) are hard core non-veggies n me...vice versa. So now they are having chiken thali + some sort of fish and all this for jus 30 bucks !!! I doubt the authenticity of chicken by price...but they are confident about it with the taste. I wonder...high prices have just hit the Vegan World :). By the time...I have a-supposed-to-be adraki chai and cream roll (my cheap+not filling equivalent for their cheap+filling meal :-| ).

We hunt for the Jean in few more stores but he doesnt fit in any and ultimately comes up with a deal breaker "Bhai..aaj jeans mil gai toe raat ka khaana meri taraf se". Thats...drivin force..at least for now :).

Suddenly...we spot a thela selling some "Star-fruit"...nva even heard of it. Well...thela wala says "Rs.7 pao kilo"...huh..cheap..we can afford it...so he gets two of these, chops them and tops with some chilli powder and salt and we start off with it with fruit waala askin us for Rs.60 now ! Shit...wtf...damned be noise pollution which caused this difference b/w "saat and saath" :(( heavy hole in pocket :(
A beer at Toons should be a good option...only if beer in India were cheap :((
Anyway...Anant realizes, he should get some new shoes. I know he want 'em...like mine....but its rare that u get Lee Coopers for 800 bucks ! So we go to this Converse store and a confused Anant is convinced by us to pick up those black canvas shoes with some green lining and laces. As of now...he is happy about 'em ;)
Outside the store...5 mins later....Sagar says,"Ye tune kya le liya...hare joote...kya Anant" ;) Now it starts..;) ;) ;) "Shit anant...tune socha bhi nahi...1000 rupaye aise hi kharch diye" "kya shit joote liye hain" "Ghar mein Rohit aur Alok bhaiyya le lenge teri" ;) ;)

Now we head to Central bundgarden...Sagar finally gets his anticipated Wrangler and me and Anant fist-up in cheer. Dinner is on Sagar :)

I knew it...it would just be momos in dinner-on-me, but who cares...these momos are awesome :)). So now...its time to leave...wait some one comes up with "yaar...pee bhi lete hain...mazza aayega" and as usual...all three of us are in :) and we pick up reliable-fun giving Old Monk and head to Sagar's.

I say "Its Nirvana night"...no one argues...we love 'em...literally :) So now its all the grunge and the rum...all's going fine and I do something I would not have done; had I not been high....I send texts to V...I do miss her..a lot sometimes...and when high...its uncontrollable...I wish we had not broken-up or things could fix up :(( and someone puts on Coldplay...only to add to emotional turmoil :((.



I'm sleepy...I think...I'll cut my not-able-to-vomit-cold water-on-head part and end up with the next morning...5th Jan hangover. Me and Anant have to go for the project and we have a hangover...but....we go :) and i spend a full-on-yawning day.

Enough for now...Fill You Up tomorrow. Goodnite.

Dhruv. .