Unfulfilled..

A train missed.. Or boarded at a time when the heart pinned for exactly the opposite..

When they couldn't meet at times when they should have..

She didn't get.. the flower he had with him, was for her..

During the cold lone nights.. It was her warmth that he pinned for..

For in all moods of life.. His fingers dialed her number to hear the voice that comforts.. But the calls went unanswered..

In his few words, gestures.. He sketched his love

He had the camera.. But he didnt have her to capture..
the girl was right there.. with her mind he couldnt stir..

Why wont he just move his hands-in-hands of life..
Cuz..she wont get it.

His love.. Unfulfilled.

Yes; its the love unfulfilled that can be romantic..forever !

Unlit..

I envy a bird soaring above into sky

i leave a robe while in air
and turn to see the robe thats gone
but it aint circus
now m falling

shoulders are booked
so dont you crave young heart

The new sun fills some hope
into fake 'cheers'. Their reasons...my chances.

But..the dependency on sapiens decreases
recorded voices balm it up.

So locked and such a waste
is desire to fly !

Glimpses !

You are an 'awe' extractin' .. Watch-at-ease
through the windy openings across the street.. he steals a glimpse !

Out of some muvees seen together in innocent childhood..
his lines bring him here, to see you so b'fully embrace the womanhood !

The Italian feast perfectly found his taste buds
and the recipe in the following words served for the contenting dessert !

In the lights and sounds of festive air..
patterned sparks render brights to your face fair

All this while.. for him.. its just been some glimpses around
..that You're beautiful with an all together different sound :)




Dedicated to a b'ful neighbour !

Sail On !

On shimmering waters.. A still rugged boat.. Looks great.. But.. Sail, Sea, Life !?

Destined to cross horizons after horizons.. To meet unknown waters.. rush past unseen landscapes.. Meet death thirsty storms and come out brave.. Alive.. Full of sail !

Living with urge for new.. For experience.. For fun.. For adventure.. For victory.. Is life..! So.. I sail on !

tu jaane na..

Its the song on ears
euphoria on me, of yours

For you don't know
to you it leads and I'm last in the row

I'm that country boy, in love
who still, over material, loves the white dove

See you in as numbered time bells
as swastik drop meets the sea shells

They create a pure pearl
left with a regret, a me.. you're not my girl

Things I try to tell u, for me, are hard
you get 'em but your situation breaks my heart

I hear it in a song but for you I'd do
what a he, for a her, didn't do; till the end, love you

No big promises, no expectations
I'd just be there with you through the situations

Been long since the hands left
but you don't know that my heart still happily carries an 'us' heft..

Run away !

Goodbye.. In a setting sun. Nature returns home, a heart happy through the day.. craves for time to stay.

A glittery smile.. Deep eyes.. Silk of hair slipping its way to the serene face.. clicked to stay; adds to memories. Were it my will.. I'd have stood at the door of my compartment, while the train resisted its inertia.. and just at the moment there'd be a look.. the look.. would have got down and asked for her hand and..

They lived happily; together; thereafter !

..he was there

Wont take the call, she wont speak to him
would alone dance the dance of her whim.

He was the partner
the one driven away in anger.

In her dark world, he was the light
she wasnt all by herself, for he held her hand tight.

In the dazzle.. dark to her, on the stage of her dream
without a touch he danced along.. Spectators saw an unseen swim.

He made sure she moved right and they thought of 'em as a dancing pair;
all but she knew.. He was there.

There was applaud.. in the momemt.. she wished it to be fr 'em and not just for her..
Away from her darkness.. in the darkness.. There he was.. winning it.. for her..

Goodbyes~

Goodbyes.. They inspire, don't they ?!

Times of standing between the two doors.. With possessions from inside one, that would accompany into the another. Uncertainty of what comes ahead.. Adventurous !! Cuz.. Sometimes I have nothing left to loose and all I can do is gain from the times to come ! There will be times finding me nostalgic.. But they'll inspire.. 'cuz I'll then start my fight again to have similar times !

I dont know.. as to where would this door lead me too.. But.. I'll find fun ! Cuz once.. One such goodbye frm a door brought me love in next.. Chain continued with finding friends for life behind the next door.. And here I stand outside this door.. biding adieu and carrying along in my heart, the moments in clicks.. Expecting awesome times behind the door I'm about to unlock..!

Childhood's End..

The sun, then, was pink;
Ruling the sky's vast blues.

The river, curved to choice;
filled with color, fishes of wish.

Rains could be called in
to fall on the most colorful umbrellas.

'Home sweet Home', on the hut wall
was the wish of an innocent mind.

There were fruit laden trees,
grass of comfortable length, color.

A hand-drawn horse; my priced possession,
feeding on hay that failed gold.

Once, in life, innocence was rewarded
with more happiness, innocence..

Free Fallin'

Separation; as it would be
Liberation; as it would be
I'd be then learning to fly
Ain't got no wings, but shall explore the sky
I'd recall the by-gones
There'd be family, love, friends
I'd think; how nice would it be
To fall as a flower on you, in your garden
I wouldn't want you to make out
How did it happen, what was it about
With open eyes; the end, I'd embrace
With closed eyes; you'd smile.. we had it once.. 'the embrace'

~Angel !

A shortie fairy with the cutest face
in this world synonymizing happiness

For all she does for me
she is "my angel"; I write with glee

People have come, faded to gray
she's always been there.. 'Just a call away'

Clueless; I'd eat up her head
she'd listen; with solutions having my worries shed

My heart; when in tatters,
she'd somehow imbibe into me.. love matters !

She's the sweetest link of the chain;
the chain from the gift to my heart in northern plain !

And when I've found the doors closing
she has brought me smiles and happy hoping

My favorite vanilla softy, chhotu, my sis
they kept searching; I found the meaning to 'bliss' !

We were high..

'Best friends'.. Called the grape vine
while we had fun on the cloud nine.

Together, we'd go distances
though present, but little, were nuances.

Easy friends
know what the other understands.

We cooked, drank on the countless nights
didn't know, were creating a bond on highs.

Sometimes, opened the books together
would laugh 'em off, thought would re-write 'em, together.

Uncertain, we were, where it led to, the way
enjoyed the scenes around, clicked memories away.

Life would give two ways, to choose one
we'd nonchalantly go into the simpler one.

There were green dreams in eyes, to follow
but all we knew was to be slow, go with the flow.

We'd go slow, but knew, the kite would soar
feared the future, talked, but knew, the boat would reach the shore.

In the comfortable apartment, music flew
time passed regrettably fast, friendship grew.

Sometimes, seems like the end is near
or the life would smoothen-up after changing the gear.

Wont change the picture
'cause they have a special place there.

On a Quintilis Rendezvous ! Version 2.0

Quintilis twenty eight
date with the sweet mate.

At a distance, in a station
a perfect start to my vacation.

A fairy gracing a material venture
meets me with a warmy gesture.

Together, we take a ride to a brasserie
have smoke rings that put her oceanic face to eerie.

Can't have more, she defies her choice
I have more, buys me time with my favorite voice.

Urges to leave, we move to a coffee place
Floral skirt, semi-painted nails reason me a happy face.

Over the coffee, she tells me the time we didn't see together
I hate the fate for the distance, circumstances that hover.

She can speak endlessly, I wont stop her
Often, I don't get it but the aura makes me a romeo lover.

My favorite Iceberg is now hers too
ticking clock saddens my heart, she leaves for loo.

I take out, re-read the Version 1.0
fail to figure how to make the present fun.

On the ride back home, with her, i'm silent
and attempt to keep her modesty by making the flying skirt resilient.

She smiles, steals me
I present to her the Version 1.0 that she'd read at home, and
she smiles again, steals me.. again !

'Miss you already'
'You and your dialogues ;)'

Sounds in Silence

In silence of materialistic
natural rain sounds
and innocence hops around
cagey gets wet, hides
and a sweet sound smile on nature's every aide.

In silence of materialistic
the sea gushes under the moon light
tell what bothers, it listens keeping aside its might
sends a solution with waves
in sounds understood by me, a naive.

it doesn't fit ~

For a moment, let me be carefree, irresponsible
let the moment last for a lifetime
let me break away..

Let me do my thing
thing I love, feel for
don't bind me to the society's shackles of conventions

My little mind doesn't get it
the stuff they do and ask me to
so I quit, as I disagree..

I wont talk
'cause frowned they'd be to hear
in good faith, I'd walk away

Someday they'd know of me
I'd have pursued my wish
..subdued their words

I'd have friends who by, stood
understood and told me I could
told me "Lets find you a shoe 'cause this one doesn't fit" !

Nature drunk !

To peek into the azure through the greens
endlessly, gives a high to me
In gloom I turn to nature
where trees-bushes are high on their seasonal, newly acquired greens !

Filled skies.. dark, deep, transcend me
to where I want to be
I'm so haaaapppy
my receipt finally resonates with nature's delivery !

I plunge into a valley.. endless
heavenly globules still meeting my face,me..harmless
I smile, smile to being happy
to an end.. endless

Detached from the colorless world
to green-brown psychedelics under skies' blue
umbrellas, children; hats off for the effect, right now, you do
a childhood boat.. 'the possession', my gold !

To see you chhai chaapak chaai would be a treat
a dedicated sky shade, rain fall for you !
a you, I click, in the moment;
the so very you !

Howdy !

He was right, in a way
It wont come to what we say is 'right'
You save yourself
to make someone happy
you fuck your self
..stop being yourself

The bull's eye
you are supposed to look for
..wont find it
if you open your eye

Many things
to watch, feel, imbibe
so I pick up the bits
make a me, take a dive

into the world
where they'd call me 'weird'
for they stick, don't question
to the things I question

Nevertheless
I'm fine here, howdy !

Into togetherness..

"Come feel the rain"
Not the time to leave yet
I pump your heart, blow life into you, in vain
Love, you seem lost
Your skin is heavily bruised, oozing red
I scream for help, why so silent seems the world ?
Your words, to hear, I yearn
Your breath, to feel, I yearn
But.. they are silent
.. and air doesn't move
Your eyes still show me our distant love-land
and it kills me to fade the scene away
You are walking into the light through the fields you, I love
"Dont walk away" I scream and you don't turn
Dear, why don't you listen..
I know no life without you.

A swish adds to red, silence
In his arms they are still. It rains.

Watch out Caesar !

Caesar; blamed of tyranny
Julian times later, we ain't free from any

I dread a goon
He is up.. there.. to fill-up my spoon

They called for elections, votes
Candidates were all wretched; in all mentions, notes

Ballot didn't say 'none'
Process seemed to be designed just to get 'done'

He got the throne, power, authority
I just trusted a pimp with a heavenly beauty

There were many like him, took turns of the Golden Bird in many a gang
raped her till she was all bruised and willing to hang

The bird lost its glory
to be a whore with a mournful story

With chopped wings, as she was forced to hop through the burning rings
I made plans to move abroad and took up the wings.

I took a drive to where I could walk
My footprints of carbon brought the heat the lock

Mother nature too got pissed of at her womb
The glaciers melted, earth shook and floods made millions succumb

Here I sit, trying to get things together
Electricity, dry spells, inflation, etc.; above my head they hover !

Elegy

He grew up in a loving-warm household
in papa's arms and maa's mould;

In an oldie-smallie town
whose today makes him frown;

Though time around the place still makes him smile,
all has worsened by measures of nile.

To his good, he didn't get into bad,
turned into a calm-ish country lad;

"Rape Me !", cried his locality, town, state, country;
all he could do was think and mourn in mind, in fury;

Sex, drugs, alcohol were in adolescent mind;
books, cheers-mugs, rock 'n roll were not there to bind n blind;

Values kept from crossing the extremes,
to pursue, to realize.. there still were dreams;

An up-country home, a loving dame, a rich life manner;
he still wished it all to be, but with her.

Scary ways of world alarmed him,
a green, kind world was the world of his whim;

So.. sometimes he thinks of getting into the mud,
but.. the vastness and uncertainty keep the mind shut;

Heart goes to the land, people he loves;
for all he can is see.. see their vows.

Ode to a lost brother..

For;

A good great human that he was,

A true believer in himself that he was,

A perfect host, for the nights we partied, that he was,

A nonchalant fun lover that he was,

A true 'Big Brother' that he was,

A loved-loving son that he was,

A missed-loved brother that he is..

May you get Heavens, Nishant Bhaiya.

Looney ToooNz !

Knowing less of the ball more of Shakira's anthem..
Cheers !.. Guys with their beers and our girl with an ice tea !!

Doesn't belong.. but enjoyin' the soccer-beer hysteria !
While the people eye the ball; she uses her tresses for a moustache; I enjoy her !

On an in-ground ''card'', she turns to learn the 'what-abouts'... love that smile :)
'Who's this ?'
'The song.. I know this one' :)

Never saw straws bring this joy to someone~
while she tries to make a bangle from the long sucker and rocking her head to the tune she seems to lurve !

Finally, friends force our teetotaler to have a sip.. she'd never have it again.. the face she makes, makes me laugh and.. tells me this :)

The pony.. un-noticed so far, comes to notice as she lets 'em free to have fun with the wavey lot!

Tossing the peanuts to a height, targeting 'em to her mouth.. her own little peanut FIFA game...

'I'll have an ice tea'

:)

P.S. 'Toons' is a sports pub in pune.

Juno.. 24

Setting Sun of the Rose Month
My pallid moon.. my friend, love
..leaving on a big train

A lifetime of years, a couple
Ah ! A couplet of a sweet song
I never could forget

A kid with my body..
A teenager with my heart..
Sunken to brim in depth of gloom

Magical powers.. if I had
Moment.. I'd stop
Get to the depths of the oceanic.. misty eyes

Hold thy ivory hand..
Kiss thy ruby lips..
Hug thy tender bosom..

Human, that I'm.. Couldn't get hold of the time
..seemed to rush when you were around
..slowed to death when you weren't..

Words were unsaid
Hearts long exchanged..
Stay.. I'd caress your locks !

Have known the touch.. that holds
The smile.. that lights
The hope in eyes.. that strengthen.. me, us

But.. as the night pours
The chillness of passion..
Burns my heart like deserted deserts..

For want of you to stay.. stay
The Big Train Leaves.

Lyfe !

A relation.. heart to heart.. love for someone

Love for smiles.. every smile !

Togetherness in troubles.. every trouble !

'Easy' friends.. lots of friends !

'Easy' laughter.. lots of laughter !

Fresh air.. greens.. smiling sun..

Positive on the flip side.. A Joker.. doesn't cry !

teoP !

Untitled~

Words are few.. to describe the hue
'What to do'.. He never knew

With days.. the question grows
Doesn't know.. if these are highs or lows

The End or The Start.. He doubts; 'the' doubt
Has got to know.. what is it about

Loveth the season.. He loveth the rain
What He did.. He knows.. won't all go in vain

That close friend.. talked about hatred
They were to part.. but they already parted

Today, He shall do the returns
Today, He shall get the returns

In a fix.. need a fix.. you are 'the' fix !

teoP !

~ rain reign ~

Open-old-denim-infinite skies.. washed to beauty by the first rains.. ! Greens gain their green.. colors get their vibrance..

The droppy sound of nonchalant childhood.. the paper boats on the short living pool in the backyard.. bicycles were made to ride in rains..

D'd drive to splash water at walkin' folks..
D'd walk to get a water splash by the drivin' folks..
No grudges in either, Its rain :)

Innocent minds' innocent expectations of 'chhutti'
nevertheless.. they'll all be muddy-mitti !

10.16% inflation doesn't alarm.. for a while let Him, Her n Me enjoy 62.5 MM rain !

teoP !

Fuzz~

Told/Untold

Should untold be told ?!

Wouldn't it be better if the told were untold !? Would it..?!?

I should tell.. reveal the untold but then again, rise and be damned..
I should reveal.. tell the untold but then again, rise and be claimed..

Things one should know.. to be happy
Things one shouldn't know.. to be happy

The game of self satisfaction.. aka 'happiness'.. buy it.. available on sale/expensive !

Who cares know less.. no less.. you don't want to see the dark
Its dark so that you can't see but wonder ! A test of how far you go into your imagination.. not knowing where to stop; when to stop; who to meet.. uncertainty, the master, shall rule thy fate rabbit ! Run.

Makin' the Start.. meet the End !

The end.. of the quad-year engineering saga; a rainy august '06 start met a rain-awaiting june '10 end !

The start.. amateurish young 12th/junior college pass-outs; some, like them, knowing what they're here for.. some, like us, having no idea and goin' with the flow ! The orientation program and i'm-so-supporting-cool-awesome speeches by the teachers apparently promised high standards only to divert 'them' towards pearson, tmg etc and 'us' folks towards techmax, nirali and 'no' etc. :D

The first year saw new friendships being made, alikes partnering, nerds buying books, some romantiques kikin' off and some findin' it troublin' to lure their distant hearts !

Studying was a 'through the semester' phenomenon for un-aware were we of the 'system' and one night stands and jigarrrrr ! Time was fun-short, 'zest' earned a big buck from regular occupant 'groups'.. and fridays-saturdays often saw rushing to new releases.. and innocence was 'the' binder !

Come second year.. we, us and them, started to realize the 'system' and what the deal is ! Studies for 'us' got shifted to semester end.. 'them' still runnin' for their targets.. 'us' caught up booze-buddy combos and unlimited fun times and made 'the' friends..
Many a 'them' joined 'us' !

Third year saw 'us' getting loaded with concepts from all over the world.. some void theories some validated ones.. some questions we never thought of in our farthest of angelic/demonic dreams ! Added fire was... approaching 'placement' season and 'work-hard-times-are-tough' suggestions poured in from every one who could speak.. 'recession' enlightened them and made us slog our pre-screwed asses more to end up with a job ! Exams now seemed like yaar-kitni-baar, for their news filling the air every three months ! And all this while the cruelty-cold-heart index was exponentially rising every submission season and with rise of facebook, many we-talk-on-facebook-not-in-real-life friends were formed, only to become good ones !

Frequently there were voices regarding 'ye stationary bhot mehengi hai', 'meri bunksheet accept ni hui yaar', 'paagal hai saala, dekhiyo itna bola, still 30 marks', 'shit yaar fir fine lagaaya saalo ne', 'id card-stationary-hall ticket conspiracy', etc... These generally went unanswered, as known to all since inception, but.. who cares.. it was 'fun @ cost' !

Come final year, many got jobs, many stugglin' to get one..
As suggested by seniors.. the procedure in 'every aspect' is 'relaxed' during BE.. but 'we' didn't see that in any respect.. teachers were at their best cruel behavior with 'us' still wondering 'isko teacher kisne banaya', submissions still sucked a lot of energy, bunksheets were still not accepted, fine-slab touched skies, papers still seemed screwy and 1st semester results were far from being 'generous' ! As usual.. innocent hopes shattered ! But if 'we' all suffered.. we were together in that too !

Today, I don't regret this engineering thing I chose.. I've come a long way, learnt things, made friends, seen how things work, life works.... what's with feeling the pressure ! Though I still cant make out for entropy and enthalpy :).. I've learnt bigger, better things here.. which shall always be there..

I hated it.. many a times.. today.. I love it !

Dhruvvv !

~amor mio

"You love it.. don't you ?!"

She smiles. He knows.. she does.

"Lets take a walk.."

~walk.. on this glistening deserted road, while soft showers gently moisten her fairness.. cold-mild breeze makes trees signal 'shhhh...' to each other; as if to listen to the words he has for her..

"Its getting cold.. here.. have this" and he wraps her up in his jacket.. and she manages all the cuteness in the world.. all at once ! While she adjusts to the warmth in his veil.. he hands her a fresh-moist violet rose he picked up on his way back and all this time was hiding it under his sleeve; she.. flashes some innocence and light into the moist and gloom... he'd never miss a chance to make her happy, would do anything for her to smile this way !

She holds his hand.. all her fingers hugging his; thinks 'not leaving you anymore.. no.. never again'.... something on his mind.. something on hers..

He suddenly stops.. she walks 2 steps ahead; stops; turns around.. only to find him down on his knee and gesture-asking for her hand.. tryin' to do something that just flashed into his mind, for he knows her and what she likes! Her heart pumps all the blood it could.. at one go.. she wanted this.. she didn't.. she did.. she didn't.. no no.. she did.. she wanted him yes.. she did.. and all of this coming together was beyond her imagination..

She submits her hand into his.. and he looks..

..into her eyes of the color of distant love;
..her hands, made of white topaz;
and her lips move, silent, in a coral light..

..then, blinking his eyes as if to be out of a dream, he slides a paper-ring he made on the way, onto her ring finger.. ticking her heart through the vena amoris.. she smiles her never-been-so-happy-heart out. She'd expected this.. but THIS.. a gentle rain.. a violet rose.. a paper ring.. a desolate-street-side-on-knee proposal was something she'd never imagined coming to her, together; all the elements, he knows, she loves! She is special.. he likes to make her feel so..

No sooner.. the smile gets blended with some tears.. tears.. for she'd never been happier.. she nods; he gets up and in the moment; perfectly stolen from life.. he bends forward.. meets her desire-defining moist lips under the infinite sky.. makes his way to her heart. They kiss..

..their first kiss somehow got them away.. this, the second, brought them together for an eternity..

"Why do you still love me so much ?"

"I love you.. just 'cause its you.. the one I love"

That smile -)

Today.. while driving back home.. some thought made me smile.. it was a flash of your smile !

Your smile.. the one which is as fresh as a winter-morning-moist-red-rose-bud, is an embodiment of assurance, naughtiness, love, accomplishment, care, understanding, warmth, togetherness, 'totally'....

You saw me doing something for you and I did something real stupid.. you smiled. I realized.. and then tried a rose.. you smiled !

I'm tryin' being a smart fella.. fakin' an accent while talkin' to someone.. he doesn't realize.. you do.. and -)

..and when I saw you, all soaked up in rain.. comin' to join me at a cafe.. u settled and got caught up in self-talking-downpour-@-odd-times-look-i-had-to-be-there-now-i'm-all-wet-kya-yaar, then u looked at a silent me, enjoyin' the 'show'.. and you smiled !

In a movie hall.. grooming my hair to catch the attention of a stunner only not to find it and instead.. your smile !

On a bad day I had.. your smile relieved me and promised a good next day !

An easy friend.. who 'knows'.. I found in you and a biggg bonus.. a serene smile of yours ! A smile.. always there to cover up for the words and better.. lets me know that I'm yours..

And.. on an early morning, when I couldn't resist the charm on your face and kept lookin' at a sleepin' you.. you smiled and opened up your eyes.. giving me every reason to thank god for ever !

I loved Julia Roberts and when you happened to me.. booommm.. I had mine :)

D..

smokinn gal !

Standing by my window, I beat the heat with a drink ! and my said attempt goes into vain, as this hottie walks in..

Amazed.. I'm ! With the skimp she has on her, what they call, 'the hour glass'; while an unaware she, lights some tobacco on her balcony ! 'Susie Q' is what the singer in the background is singing about.. and its what the viewer, me, is gazing at ! Damn.. she is exactly what it takes for a gentleman in you to lose himself for a while and an engineer in you to make close measurements of distant objects :)

In the evening.. while I reach for the curtain.. I spot her once again ! Dripping she.. draped in a white wipe this time.. smokin' again.. and makin' her own lil-hott contribution to 'Global Warming' ;)

My not-so-important-so-far window suddenly has now gained a significant place in my-homey-favorite-possessions.. and now.. i spend more time walking around my apartment.. for obvious reasons existing across the window vent :)

Dhrooooov !

~Fix Me~

What I don't want.. sticks around;
What I want.. doesn't stay !

Seems like.. 'being misunderstood' and 'not trusted' are now profile defining qualities; contrary to my understanding of myself.

So.. I've been made to believe that I'm so good at screwing up the 'perfect' and.. I suck :|

Things may 'end' up fine.. but.. what comes along the way to the 'end' makes it all taste so god-darned aweful.. Instead of livin'-it-enjoyin'-it through, I end up hatin'-it-condemnin'-it..

I don't know whats wrong.. if it is~
I don't know what to do about it.. even if a solution exists~

Losin' the not-to-be-lost.... saga.. continues !

Searching for the 'lights'.. I believe.. they'll guide..

Dhruv..

''What up !?''.. when I miss you !

You know.. its nothing special-too-down-love-in-mind situation when I think of you.. miss you !

Its more of like.. a click.. a flash.. givin' me a snap-shot in my mind.

The snap has you.. on scrolling and panning a bit.. I find myself around..

Next; I recall the 'moment'.. it makes me :)..

I pick up my cell phone.. go to the text editor..

Within no time.. you receive a text asking 'What up !?'..

All my heart..

Dhruv..

Everything's gonna be all-right !

Been through an upsetting part;
May be.. the board quite didn't get the dart..

She is like "For a while, I want to be alone";
I'm like "Don't be upset, it will soon be gone"..

I had a rough day, life's not good;
Sweetz.. stick around.. you'll really find the gold you should..

Why me;
'cause there always are flips n flops honey..

What should I do;
Don't worry.. we'll figure something out, once you are through..

....

I'm sorry;
Sweetz..for that you never have to worry..

Have a nice life.. don't lose it 'cause of a setback.. u'll do better and things will be awesome.
I have faith in you.

Dhruv..

No dayzzzz .. No nitezzzz

Not being uber-romantique !

I'm home for long 3 dayzz now.. can't move out till Mr.All-Blindingly-Bright-Uber-Hot-Summer-Sun is out.. and post that.. the Always-On-Halt-No-Signal-Working-Pune Traffic. So.. I drop the idea of moving out :|

At home. I've been seeing the walls, TV, Computer, Radhe-Krishna Calender, some munchies-chewies.. lying on my mattress for a long long time; alternately switching my view from TV to Computer to sometimes.. books ! Driven by lazzziness and dizzzziness, I've given up having milk in the mug and now I go straight-away for the milk pouch.. that increases my usual 'take-in' quantity. My breakfast is totally on me.. so i generally 'fast' through it or have some weird-uncooked combinationzzzz. News-paper has the page3 celebs, as happy as they've always been and some lousy releases that none see. I see Michael Scofield rescuing his love twice a day playing the same trap-tricks in the evening.. as he played in the morning. Facebook wall is full with '***** is **% lucky today', 'your date of the day is *****' blah blah.. who gives a shit about your luck %.. were you **% lucky, you'd already be dating your 'date of the day' ! Modi-Ipl are suddenly out of news.. and Barcelona loses to Internazionale during a night I decide NOT to sleep through...

I put up an alarm to be up at 0015 Hrs while sleeping at 1115 Hrs, in a good faith, to get up and study..
haven't seen success till day and my zzzzzy story goes on steady

Dhruv..

~$ubmi$$ion~

The word has a depth associated.. it is something we engineers do.. rather are subjected to !

We.. 'submit'.. all the journals which are worth some marks; copying the stuff, that probably has been the same for years now, into 'em.. in different hand-writings and colors; apparently to 'learn' something... the part I never got.. no one did ! Whats the point.. when it doesn't help one in any possible way ! All one gets is a partnership in crime-against-nature while shelling one's own buck for the same..

Here's how it goes..

-> With some supreme powers vested in them, the college authorities 'force' students to buy a much much over-valved 'college-stationary' package. One can't refuse to do so.. 'cause then you don't get your much needed ID card ! What they inculcate..?! Students preparing fake ID cards ('cause they usually have left-over stationary from previous year and the high amount).. 'forgery'!

-> Somehow practicals are conducted ('somehow') and corresponding write-ups are sought after. Generally its a 'submitted' file from the previous year, from the 'other' college that is brought into the scene or the students are given the responsibility to prepare the write-ups 'on their own' without even a single reference book available in college/department library. What students do.. they copy down all the stuff as it as from a local author.. the tenses/senses are far beyond of being aweful. The 'learning' part as so-called 'aimed' by authorities, is no where in scenario with a whole lotta.. 'time wastage'!

-> The 'copied' master-copy, with lots of grammatical/technical errors is ready.. with a lot of filled in pages (the text is much beyond required 'cause it has been copied 'as it is'). So now.. the other students get this master-copy from the 'brilliant' student who 'prepared' it and worked on it 'for hours'.. and get the un-ending text xeroxed ! This seeks a substantial amount from one's monthly pocket money as well as eats up tonnes of trees.. 'cause you need pages !

-> Now the xeroxed 'copied' master-copy is copied again by many ! And you generally don't stand aloof with a notion of 'I'll do it on my own' ! So.. like masses.. you copy and put in time 'cause deadlines have to me met to avoid childish 'very late' remarks (very late in copying :P). This takes away a lot of time.. a substantial fraction of which, if devoted to read even a news-paper, would enhance one's knowledge. A significant number of students 'out-source' the 'copying' act too.. costing again a significant fraction of their buck-pack !

-> Done copying, one has now another battle to fight.. getting the stuff 'corrected'. This cycle too consumes a lot of time and mental pressure 'cause of the tantrums and taunty 'remarks' by the 'teachers'.. no.. 'lecturers'.. they are no teachers.. too less human to be called so ! The xeroxed material sees a dust-bin, making it useless and a mere 'waste' and the 'somehow' corrected file reaches its final stage of '$ubmi$$ion'.

-> '$ubmi$$ion' comes with a lot of monetary issues. Your 'copied' file is never submitted at-once and there is a separate 'time-table' involved. To submit this 'copied' stuff you even have to be properly attired and have to have a heavy pocket with some extra bucks to roll in. Your file is not submitted until you have some specific 'percentage' of attendance in lectures conducted by the said 'lecturers'. That is a compulsion.. God knows why.. and failing to do so.. you become a puppet with your guide-strands in the hands of the 'lecturers'. Now starts the role of your buck-pack.. the amount you roll in buys you..1) bad term marks 2) your file submission 3) enhancement in attendance to meet the university requirements. University decides the attendance percentage but the 'fine' is decided again by the said authorities.. this is their oppurtunity to earn and so an attractive 'fine-slab' is prepared running from 1000 bucks to 10000 bucks.. pay them accordingly and...


"You're done with your submission !"


In the process, you along with millions of other students who go through approximately the same, achieve/contribute following :-

1) A 'rest' for a huge number of once 'standing' trees, which could have contributed at-least a little to the worsening climatic conditions.

2) No 'knowledge' as against the so called 'aim' of the authorities.

3) Values like 'forgery' and 'lies' in the 'value based education' process.

4) Wastage of huge amount of money.

5) 'Waste of time'.. time that could have been fruitfully used elsewhere and may have contributed to your knowledge and marks.

The list goes on.. as you think about it more !

We are shirkers. We 'submit'

Dhruv..

~what you are.. to me

~you know.. there are times when against all wants and needs in life.. I need just you..

When you are around.. its this heavenly cocoon that encircles me and all I'm in.. is your world.. the way you make me see it.. the aura.. the charisma.. the notion of 'trust me' you radiate.. is what goes through me ! I'm alive for sure.. and this is the life I want.. in this miniature world of yours in this majestic world..
you make life simpler.. rather.. you fill in the colors to the otherwise outlines enclosing the blank !

My problems.. as u see.. no one else does.. may be what they see is right.. but your way is more in view to soothe me.. make me comfortable and fill in with belief that the things will come right.. don't know why; but you have this in you, for me.. what every mother has for her child..!

I have hated life.. but every time, its your existence that has paved a path for me to reconsider my view.. how can i hate this life when it has brought me to you. I so love it.. 'cause I don't know what I want.. but your presence, your hand n a place in your heart !

I don't know if you are mine.. but there is one thing I know.. when I get lost, feel like a mess.. I can't help but reminisce.. I feel like searching for you.. 'cause when you go.. colors fade away..

Farewell.. Faces.. Memories.. Moments !

On 15th of April was our farewell. At a point in time I had made a view that I would give it a miss.. 'cause I was so done-done with college, department etc.

It took me a Sagar, a Sneha, a Viniie to convince that I shouldn't miss it..!

On 14th.. in a scorching sun.. we (me and anant) went shopping with our clueless minds being constantly governed/misgoverned by exhausting unbearable heat and unpredictable economic conditions ;).. I give my 'tux' plans a big amiss :|

So.. Sagar helps me find a black kurta which I happen to like immediately and Anant still isn't convinced.. 'cause he wants a 'coat'/'suit' with a little buck to roll !
So.. he tries every possible 'hathkanda' and urges Rohit to get one :p but finally ends up with a rust colored kurta !

Now.. he (and me too somewhere :)) is convinced that we're gonna be too under-dressed for the event besides.. we gotta see the faces again :|
So.. on way I agree to his winner's-its-gonna-be-whole-lotta-fun-when-we-are-high ! So.. we are all set !

@MIT Lawns.. ignoring all the stagey-podium-stuff; we click photographs.. a lot of 'em.. with people I'd not seen for long.. with people I once had moments with.. with people I'd miss.. with people who once were strangers.. with people who became friends with time.. with these friends I like.. with these friends I love.. with the friends I had 'time of my life'.. A stupid notion that was once ruling my mind and keeping me from attending the farewell, met its answer...cuz here I was, in the farewell, enjoying every moment of togetherness with all the friends ! And the lil suroor just added to the emotions :)

'Faces' met.. cherished and remembered the 'memories'.. created 'moments' for lifetime.. had a fun 'farewell' !

@ sagar,anant,mit,raunak,aniket,shrey,akhilesh,ahsay,gujar,prathu,gadia,ajay,shetty,rohit,andy,binoy and all the guys I know but missed here.. thanks bros.. I had some real real great time at some point of time with you !

@kirti,tejal,nishi,mayuri,apurva,madhura,nupoor,teja,chandni,bhavya. Ladies.. you looked gorgeous on the day ! And.. thanks for every moment I ever had with you.. its intact in my memory and I'm gonna miss 'em and you !

@all - love ya buddies !

No more regrets.. no more hating-the-college-stuff.. it gave me friends and memories for ever.. and I learned something :)

Love, peace.

Dhruv..

P.S. Farewells are fun.. when you are a lil high ;)

I don't care.. I care.. I don't know

I'm not liking it.. no.. not at all. I really don't know what to do..
What I did.. I'm clueless why I did.. now I feel that I don't belong.. I never did !
I'm asking no pity.. I hate everyone.. myself..

My farewell is approaching.. I'm reluctant on attending.. why !? I know this.. 'cause the ones I wish to be with are little and not gonna be there..

I desire a lot.. have achieved none of it.. and everyday I end up hating every damn thing.. my college.. pune.. life.. what's missing, I don't know..

Why nothing is good.. as I want.. I decide on studying but things are hard to get in though easy to understand..

My good friends have friends.. but what they don't get is that I just have them..

While driving back home.. I wish I could hit it.. end it all. The travel distance, heat fatigues me.. and against my wish I criticize everything..

I care about my life.. my parents' expectations.. then why do I feel like I don't ?! This thing... its killing me within.. and the best part.. I don't know what is it..

I'm scared..

I stroll !

My memory lane goes too long.. to distances, I sometimes regret, sometimes rejoice ! But my imagination.. my better world.. goes distances/places I never regret.. a world where I'm happy.. surroundings are smiley.. sun in serene.. rain is romantique !

My world.. not so big.. a boundary-less miniature; with whole lotta greenery.. fresh water.. friends.. fun.. love and burger king :)

'Romantiques' once made.. go on smooth and with time gain aroma of that antique wine, romantiques relish ! So.. no heart breaks.. no lost-love vows.. just 'u n me' and we break open a bottle of wine.. whole lotta love !

Friends are easy.. limited.. 'there'.. u can talk out your heart.. have beers at lake rocks.. talk movies, sports, girls, figures (;)), sex ! Pull his legs until he's creepy with words.. but get him to a nice pub.. he's bro again ! He may talk shit.. but he is dear.. and though seen in movies only.. we are one strong-to-go-real-life bunch ! And when you're upset.. they listen.. pat your back, tell you that its gonna be ok.. u say cheers.. and the booze-buddy combo helps you be an optimist and things start working !

I'm listening to Led Zeppelin :)

Dhruv..

Shit and Shit

My music player.. is in repair; for 5 days now;

I reach college @ 11.. don't get any of my course books in library, they don't even have 'em.. Fuck.. why do we even pay them for non-existent-labs, torture-teachers.. good ones last for at the most three months.. wackiest ones stay to screw every possible ass.. 4 years.. this college has given me every possible shit.. as the end nears.. i crave more for it.. all i've had here is friends-for-life-for-sure-bros some gyaan and a job.. and that's it.. no fucking else matters.. i find the people unnecessarily foul-sour speaking/thinking.. damn-it self obsession.. they come ahead, eye every buck i have.. ask me for it by sword pointing my 'term-work' on account of some fucking 'alumini' or 'fine' for some totally non-substantial issue.. i've to beg to money-brooding organization to pay the dues they owe me.. they flatly refuse.. then again.. i can't do any damn thing.. while others make memories.. my fucking notes get a flashy 'L'.. why ?.. because.. "you went home for some important work.. but you committed a crime Joe..! BIG BIG crime.. its morally ethically wrong..!" Now your master is going home.. fucking his holiday is fine.. faces I'd never miss.. rather would piss on.. give me a photo ! But their are always exceptions.. no hard feelings for 'em.. i love 'em.. owe then for what they taught me..;

Fare-well.. damn you fucked me and my friends well..;

They follow something similar outside too.. the shit they fill in mass makes the mass more unfriendly to me.. to my friends.. they ought to stop it.. they are no-where contributing to nation.. to society.. where are the values in their 'value based education'.. where is the friendliness.. ease.. softness.. love.. amongst people.. why do their steps want to curb the small unities which develop.. where is the human side to student treatment.. whats so great.. so prestigious in them.. which makes 'em take a walk while someone tries to explain his problem.. prejudice.. why.. why treat an individual with mass like notion;

'We'.. the people.. hehe.. seems like a joke to me now for how they deal with things to ensure its survival;

This is the enD

May be.. i'm afraid..

The High-way back !

So.. settling the things.. negotiating the sub-states of semi-consciousness I, with Sagar along.. take off on my churrrrrrrrr activa.. for my place.

Silence, night, street lights diffusing, empty roads.. colorfully faded vision ;).. a perfect i-want-to-see.. thanks to the perfect number of pecks.. each with a perfect composition.. thanks to the trusted Monk !

So.. my activa glides on.. and in the way we halt at his place and have food and pick up some books :).. damn hungry we were and Chinoo..the cat was as usual busy with himself !

Further in journey to Koregaon Park.. I feel my eyes closing while my bike is taking more of curvy paths and at higher speeds.. both being against my wishes of straighter paths and lower speeds ! Then we pass an even curvier SNDT road and my path is curvier than ever !

Suddenly, Sagar plugs-in a piece of his ear phones into my left ear and AC~DC takes from me the responsibility of the futher ride.. he knows ;)

I just reached home.. I'm safe.. Do drink lil-lil and drive safe-slow.. fun !

Dhruv !

A Lyrical Musical Morning Way...!

From many mornings since I've had my music player with me and have developed a strong liking for Lucky Ali.. my morning rides have been kinda similar and b'ful !

My play-list starts with 'Aks'.. the ballad gets me completely and while I cross the generally-shadowed-but-enlightened-by-morning-sun South Main Road.. I feel a pinch of missing love !

By the time I reach Ruby Hall.. its 'Anjaani Raahon Mein'. The lyrical masterpiece that it is; makes me relate the words to the love for my country, feeling of oneness and a hint of thought of the 'Summer' girl with 'jhilmilati aankhein' n 'bholi si adaa'.. and home !

..and when its cloudy-non-sunny-gloomy kinda day.. 'Baadlon Ki Gehrayee' makes sense to me !

As I cross JM.. 'Dekha Hai Aisa Bhi' tells me about myself and leaves me eager to travel through my country and makes me want to get the missing love :)

No sooner does he mellifluously sings 'Dil gaaye jaa'.. I feel happier and recall the happier abstracts of the b'ful life !

Nearing Karve Road.. I hum along '..kabhi kabhi akele mein humko aisa lagta hai'.. no recalls/relations.. I just love the melody too much !

'Gori Teri Aankhein' gives quite a realistic description of a girl I wish could've reciprocated to my friend's love for her.. a girl I wish I knew, for all her colors and her morning-out-of-sleep-still-in-dream eyes ! The raw-grungy voice adds to the feel !

I start to compare my present struggle b/w adolescence-adulthood to my childhood.. and realize that 'Jab hum chhote hote the..' is so true. Damn.. it was so good not being a grown-up :(.. This realization comes along with me reaching the college and now it makes more sense.. Now its submissions-attendance-assignment-writeups against nature-innocence-austerity-love..

May not have a great day.. may have to fake things, lie, cheat, feel disgust, frustration against life, system... but the journey and the accompanying music surely make the beginning of the day a great one ! :)

Dhruv..

The Window Seat..

Cut/uncut gold.. brought to color by a setting sun which fills some aura into the field patterns..

Village cricket with an earthy feel and the distant huts like miniatures in a craft exhibit..

Shaped/unshaped trees..each with a different sense of beauty; a different story to tell..

Paths cutting through endless fields.. each leading to an unknown destination I wish to be once at..

Vivid scarecrows, the ones I've always doubted on functionality, to shoo away birds that may harm the crop.. the shapes and colors are quite amusing though !

Sunflower fields.. making me recall 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge' like visuals. Got no words.. they are so full of austerity and beauty !

Bird groups with a patterned flight.. leaving home together or may be returning to it ! I wonder how do they organize and settle for the shape of their flying fleet !

A father farmer with his beta farmer returning home on their tractor, tracing a rocky-dirty path.. they are happy. Makes me believe that its the destination that matters more than the path when you've had a tiring day !

Trains gushing and rushing back to perhaps where you came from, give a glimpse of a person, whom probably you won't ever see again in life..

Those huge trussy structures.. tirelessly carrying the power that you and I get to use and waste !

Unchanged paths and rail-tracks for ever changing generations.. miss you maa, papa..

Frequent milestones depicting some figures that I don't understand.. not getting an answer to this, my 'guy-perspective' momentarily urges me to believe that it might be the 'figure' of earth at !

Life's good :)

Dhruv..

A Village Damsel..a figment of imagination !

I picture Harry..the shy guy strolling down a walkway, lit at long shadow distances, whilst aimlessly kicking the pebbles coming by his way...he doesn't have a way..

He has had great times in life. Four years back he was this boy in this big town..everything was new and wow. He found new friends; saw hardships in life; found love; lost love....life's good great..but not so-wished-for at times ! Harry is imaginative..a loner; he likes company but doesn't really enjoy each of it..likes some specific people to be around !
While alone..he imagines; he writes; he snaps; he misses ! This night..while rambling down the walkway he thinks of a village girl... He once happened to see an ethnic 'banjaran' girl near a settlement of theirs, around his high-school. The image has long lived in his mind..the girl was beautiful. She had these deep oceanic eyes and the under-lids were lined black with kajal..her face was this perfectly carved motioned piece of sculpture..a little darkness in her complexion added to her charm. Her perfectly curved-sized ears had these n numbers of ear rings...none so shiny but all just so perfect ! She was clad in that so colorful-mirrored pair of ghagra-choli as if to reflect away all the evil...she was pure...with white armlets covering a major portion of her seemingly long hands...she had this perfectly shaped body; all curves in perfect-proportionate shape..straight out of a beautiful hand made painting of a damsel...damsel..she was there..right in Harry's eyes..a dream pictured !

Dhruv..

...when Harry 'couldn't' meet Sally

Harry befriended Sally almost 3 and half years back.

For those initial few months of their time together..Harry was the luckiest guy in the world. He loved everyone and everyone loved him. World was his...and he won hearts. In his college..he met Sally; a sweet-cute-aggressive-caring-feeble girl and one fine day they were friends..

Harry had been in love, was in love but he knew it..this thing with Sally..was something special ! Sally was friend..and more. She cared for him like anything and he loved being pampered..and in turn loved her. She became his best friend. He could talk his heart out to her and she assured him that she'd always be there. When that cop caught Harry for entering a 'No-Entry'; Sally came to rescue. God..Sally drove fast !
In that fun eve in college...she was this crazy girl to be there in those green minis. They had their specifics with the coffee and while Harry was an iceberg..Sally was an eskimo. They studied together and made a lot of fun of each other. She was this caring-best-bud of Harry and though she hurt him sometimes...their relation didn't weaken !

What a girl :)

Sally loves shopping..Harry thinks it makes her happie and he never questions her frequent sprees...she can get these rum colored strands of hair and sport 'em with so much of ease. She has this metal key chain bearing her name and often Harry gets 'em to trouble her. He loves troubling her...rather...enjoys :) But then again...she is her best bud and its just her..whom he can take for an ice-cream, tie those balloons to her hands and she'd still manage that cuteness :) She slaps Harry very often, calls her those not-so-abusive abuses but makes those stupid diagrams for his journals when he is too late or lethargic to get 'em done on his own ! She lends an ear to everything stupid/serious he has to say. She comes a long distance with him just to have the momos he wants her to have..rather have 'em with her :) She is, at times....almost every time, troubled with problems..which more often are born 'cause....she cares..that's her..and that's why everyone who knows her..loves her ! Harry too..and she knows :)

Harry and Sally don't see each other as frequently, as they once used to. Things have changed...times have changed. They have a sweet history and moments to remember..Now there are times when Harry can't meet Sally...he wishes they could ! Harry misses Sally and their time together !

Sally is awesome...Sally should always be happy...Sally shall have the most caring and loving man in her life...Sally's man shall get everything she could ever wish...and...Harry shall always be there for her.

These are Harry's thoughts when he misses Sally and can't meet her...and most of all..can't have that once-in-a-lifetime time with her :(

Dhruv..

Golden all the way !

It has been an all-dull-usual-boring day and me and Sagar sit, viewing and discussing our horoscopes..from all the available newspapers; while relating the present to the possibilities in life !

Supposedly; my romantic relationship will be intense (duh ! I no more have one) and Sagar will soon have one ! I like horoscopes..and I now hate 'supposed to be' friends.

Having done with the horoscopes and re-watching all the available Lucky Ali videos almost thrice..we decide to bring in some fluid company. Running low with cash and a feeble desire for getting too high, we get some KFS. India vs Pakistan is scheduled at 9 and we now have this perfect setup to cheer our team. India, repeatedly keeps scoring goals :) and our usually red-brown ramboozle tumblers undergo almost 3 cycles of getting filled-emptied of the golden spirit...the beer !...while India claims a golden 4-1 victory over Pakistan..:))

An awesome end. We decide that, hence on, whenever Indian Hockey Team plays..its gonna be us watching them play with the Golden Cheers :). Golden all the way !

Dhruv..

..adieu

I'm not freaked out, nor depressed...I'm trying to fix the things up for myself..a lil.

This 'thing'..it just goes on with me now and then..but now I hate to stay alone 'cause that's the time when it gets over me completely..and since I happened to have some time by myself yesterday..on way back from Uran..in bus..it got me..again..

Yesterday, while in bus..I recalled a day from September 2005. I have some real sweet memories related to the date. It was dark..she managed cuteness with that red tee and we had this perfect dreamy sequence in real..while the bus roared its way to the town. I held her soft hands in not-so-soft mine while innocent communion of our sweats defined the moment...
We talked about a little world that we'd carve for 'us'...the life that we'd make and the colors we'd fill together into it to make it the most beautiful thing ever. Life seemed perfect 'cause she made me happy and I wanted to do the same to her for the rest of my life..I so loved her..

Back at Sagar's..I sent a text to her. She didn't get back for quite sometime but when she did..it was with a news declaring that she's gonna be my 'neighbor'. I took it for 'may be her dad's getting transferred to Mumbai'..but as it turned out..it was regarding her dad getting a land to erect a house in Chitrakoot. I congratulated her. Next, she told me that the 'transfer' list is supposed to be out in April and Mumbai may be a possibility...

Now I did something which I shouldn't have..though I was honest..but I realize..it hurts her. I texted her back with 'getting back together' stuff.

With some brownie in..I realized the 'thing' again..Its totally wrong on my part to do this to her. Its been a long time since we separated..and I shouldn't get any more creepy. I have feelings for her..may be she has 'em too but 'us' getting together is no more a possibility..All I end up with is making her feel bad and uncomfortable..
I never wanted this..making her happy was my only wish..and what am I doing !??

I think..its time..to part ways and the final adieu..I wish lots of happiness for you..and cutting the crap of expectations to nil..I'm always gonna be there for you as the 'best-bud'..

Let me say this one last time..Love ya..

Its better be left to destiny hence on..

Dhruv..

Rest...in peace

Rest in peace...all those who lost their lives in German Bakery blast and the German Bakery too.

I reside at a stone-throw distance from German Bakery in Koregaon Park. I heard the boom of the blast on the fateful evening...didn't take it seriously and took it for something negligible. A little later came to know that it was a 'LPG Cylinder' blast...didn't take it seriously again..and left for some shopping...to M.G.Road.

Got stuck in a traffic jam...and realized the seriousness through the panic in the city. A concerned/curious friend texted to know of my well being and I came to know about the blast and it being caused by an IED.

10 dead, 60 injured..but..many Rest In Peace !

The dead..rest in peace; 'rest'..unaffected people..are 'in peace' too..in two ways. Some are in peace..'cause they always are in...they never give a damn...they are too foreigners to be Indians...while some are in peace..'cause God will make it all right.

But what about those who don't rest in peace ?! 'AMs' who want to spread TERROR in every possible way; be it moral policing or attacking innocent when he/she expresses his views or shear blood thirsty terrorism and the 'BMs' who HATE the 'AMs' for their being in power or belonging to a particular nation/state or for their language or their religion...They are not in peace...may be...they shall never be..'cause they HATE each other and find out every possible reason to do so...no matter how non-sense-making it may be !

Dead won't come back..harsh memories of bloodshed won't fade away soon...but its the call of the moment to let the 'HATRED' b/w 'AMs' and 'BMs' fade away real soon and spread 'PEACE'..

Lets be 'US' again; 'LOVE' each other..and make our world a safer, inhabitable and lovable place..

Peace.

Dhruv. .

mind shit~

Stuck.

The time, as of now, is supposed to be the one..whereby memories should be created...but I'm failing at it..
Band of people around is narrowing down...mathematically-graphically-inverse exponentially...
May be..whilst trying to achieve something uncertain-unknown, the confused being in me missed on something certain-known.
I've lost on close-to-heart people..something which always haunts me as if..its gonna continue..what if ?!...
They go..leave...to never be back in your life; but why don't the expectations die..why do you still, at times, yearn for their presence...yes..what to do when you are too in love to let it go..

Can't see the lights that should guide...

I'm upset...I don't know why...

In a long day; there are excerpts forgettable/unforgettable. A bitch bamboozles on a friend, want to help, but ambiguity stops me. Some music n booze n all the time enjoyed together with best of buddies is "in" but I fear the countdown that is "ON" and going...

Nothing to do with the love lost (in fact...something and more..); its the bigger losses I fear..it was hard on me...to get on-track....getting off it would be harder..on me -(

What do you want to prove...Sagar !

'What dya wana prove..Sagar (accented delight !)', something what a high 'Agent K' said when a sabji made by him was considered for a re-cooking-re-spicing spree..you should have seen his expression and more over that...his tone :P

It was a Sunday night..and I was learning to cook (finally !) with ramboozle-celebrating-liberation-of-cuba-strong-potent-'the best' spirit gulps (consider this :p). Prestigious issue for everyone around 'cause all there but me knew cooking..so multiple inputs and disagreements were obvious with some of 'em obviously available for 'fun' purposes (Oh ! puchcha) :)

So..I, finally, with multiple helps, cooked for the first time (though all this just for 'Dal Chawal' :!). The taste` was good and quantity was just right. So..a good-first-one !

Next day...it was Horton..saving the Whos and Figuera making it funnier while consistently pissing the 'Agent K' off ! (God knows why wasn't he enjoying it). Horton managed saving the Whos A.S.A.P (Act Swiftly, Awesome Pachyderm !..something he thought that A.S.A.P stood for) and the day ended with news of arrival of Mit (a friend..bro!) and along with him..something..that would carve out the events of the day following ;P.

Mit got Fenny along..in his bag..to college.
I saw this b'ful-I-don't-know-I'm-so-b'ful girl celebrating look-a-like day in college. My mere 'Mit..the girl..she is so b'ful' was enough to excite him to start acting as my wing-man ! (He didn't get off his role through the day and the names of girls in his cards kept switching with he climbing the states of mind ;P).

Sab mere baare mein chintit hain !!

God damned fenny was aweful :( and I was the leading gulp-in-the-stupid-spirit-shots guy ! My last memory..'O Sanam - Lucky Ali' till I got up at around 10 in the night and it was 'High Hopes - Pink Floyd' now with bros still climbing the ladders ! I was definitely off it now and back home.

Next day..headache kept vibrating and damping my head through the day. I had a bad 'day'. 'Greens' performed at a college fest and so the eve was awesome ! (Bhaiyaji...Once More :)). The bad 'day' ended with a good 'nite'. 'We Three' had dinner at Kuku's with patiyala lassi..and the liabilities were Anant's :p.

Aloha.

Dhruv. .

P.S. Puchcha is what Anant calls me and occasionally I call him too :). 'We Three'..Anant Sagar Dhruv. 'Agent K'..Anant.

One Fine Day -)

A lousy-full-of-lectures-too-many-notes day in college may not necessarily end up being lousy !

Good things happen and happiness comes in small packages. The day adds-up to the firmness of the belief :)

An unexpected-light-on-pocket-so-so-tasting lunch during a cold-morning-warm-afternoon day at a yet undiscovered 'Mitraan Da Dhaba' on college road, in days when we are as broke as each other, as broke as we always are in a month-end !...so....good things do happen :)

Now..the small package part ! My sweet lil friend...Kiddie...is a small package :p. She is this sweet-small-town-girl who loves to dress herself up with goodies and shop..a lot :). She has got this fine air of innocence and nonchalance in every move. A rose is just enough to make the lil angel smile to the depth of her heart ! Have known this delicate doll-darling for 4 years now and the girl has been special since then...for you don't generally have a girl-friend (not girlfriend !) who just loves to wear 'chhote-chhote kapde' :P.

She is from a town too close to mine..and I still wonder (and so does she..I came to know this today !) as if this all is a setup ! Incidently..I come to MITCOE..so does she. We are unknown to each other. I get in a particular division of FE and so does she..in the same division. I'm seated in a bench right behind her only to befriend her and discover 'Oh ! You're from Maihar...:) I'm from Satna !'

Lucky to have you Kid..:)

Today, 4.30 pm. Me and kiddie go to CCD-LCR. We have the same orders for again..4 years now. She is 'Iced Eskimo' and I'm 'Tropical Iceberg' :P and whenever we meet at this very CCD...its these drinks and all the current state of affairs (;)) and there is some fun and some words of wisdom and lots of innocence :)

Having done with CCD we leave for KP..aimlessly. On the way she decides to get an Osho chappal for herself (God ! Don't they get bugged up of 'em ?!) but ends up with a colored strand of hair (nonchalance !..but great :)) spending every possible buck ! So now..we are left with these 20 bucks...and we want to have 'The Lane 6 Momos' !
My place is near..so we go there...collect 'chillar' as and where I find it...worth 12 bucks :)

Maths:-

20 + 12 = 32 bucks.

Momos = 25 bucks.

Savings = 7 bucks !! :)

So...One Fine Day :)

Dhruv. .

P.S. Satna to Maihar = 32 Kms :)

To you..again..

This morning..my mind was troubled. Many a things were just coming in and disturbing my mind. May be; these were the remains of the day before or lets say..remains of the day(s) before..

Nothing seems convincing to me in this state of mind. I try to find flaws in every damn thing/person. I think negative...'cause nothing seems to be going positive...and then...I wish I had you V. I could just tell you everything and be better off..'cause you'd have listened to me..and would've tried and convinced me that 'everything will come right'..

But...I don't have you.

:|

D. .

P.S.I'm never gonna tell you about my blog...I don't know why.

One. .

I'm sober.

Sometimes..I feel..is it too necessary to be that perfect person !?

I'm not perfect so...I hate myself...really.... do I ?! Or I want to be 'that' someone else...do I ?!

A slight unawareness of things can fuel up the screwing-up process of my a**. The good I do to the world is never accounted for unless exhibited. People are after me to make my thought theirs. I am asked to do things and be something which I don't want to ! Why is my life so controlled and watched out for. At a point...in this big big crowd where I am nothing (Am I?....nah I'm not..am i ?.. :(() why the expectations from me are so high. Academic pressure...the pressure of life...responsibilities...am I too young...'cause I think I'm not ready...while people think that I'm :|...confused ! This quarter-life-crisis is confusing me and I'm unsure about...well...almost everything :|

I want to be 'The One'...ammm...not sure :|

But..circumstances make me 'one' of 'em...

What to do ?! 'cause I'm so confused...so I settle for 'lets-see-go-with-the-flow' life...wherein..I console myself with 'my-life-has-just-begun'..though I'm already 21 !

That last line...rhymes :P

Dhruv. .

~Crooked and Strong~

Its a recall of events..

Look at this photograph......



Its been an year since this one was taken..thanks Aniket. It was hung in Sagar's kitchen all this while...but three days back when that shitty beer was in...it tasted/tastes awful yet it helped this masterpiece find its deserved place. I..dont know why..took it off the kitchen wall and started searching for a suitable wall, post my "yaar ye yahan sahi nai hai" and the reciprocation "haina !"...(can't recall rest :p)

My search for that "sahi" wall ends up in vain, 'cause non of 'em has a nail :|.

But..I'm a mechanical engineer...and to my advantage..a lil on the higher state of mind :p. I find a pair of converse shoes of Sagar (he doesn't wear 'em any more...KP once wore 'em)...unwind the laces out...'I'm gonna hang it..fuck nail and its absence' ;)

Back in the party-den-fun-room..Sagar's bed cum computer room...'the room' ;).I tie an end of the lace to one of those tube-light holders by a hang-knot...pass it through the nail slot in the photo-frame...and tie the other end to the second holder of the tube-light....while standing on a shrieking chair and Anant holding the frame all this while...as clueless as me...as to what are we up to ?!!

Nothing more of it that day.

Next day...Anant meets me with "Photo to sahi lag gai yaar.." !

Same day...I go to Sagar's. The photograph is at place we tied-fixed-hanged it but....is crooked :) A thought crosses my mind (..come on..I'm sober)...photograph is crooked...may be the way we are right now...but "ye dosti bhot strong hai" :)

Dhruv. .

To you. .

I'm sober.
Been an year today. Sometimes...heart aches for not being your 'special one' anymore but it can't be helped either. So..no hard feelings; no criticisms; no blame-game....just something about you V...and about..us.

Met you first in July 2004 and the friendship struck with that 'Chocolate Bet' over a mathematics unit test of 20 marks..and you won it. I was much of an introvert but I guess you knew that; for you always struck first and made me comfortable. The yet unknown girl from Kanpur was now a dear friend and making the misery of getting into KV fade away...Life started to feel b'ful and happiness was all around with you. Could talk to you endlessly...you seemed inexpressibly cute when you tried a lot yet couldn't say 'Tarrrrr..'...I started enjoying your presence and company. Hadn't had a 'good' friend...you fit in the shoe so perfectly. It wasn't love.

For the first time...I had started writing and I recall the time when you read it...and in a fist of fury I tore it apart and threw away the pieces (to the date..I don't know why). Next..you did what no one else could ha done..you recollected the torn pieces from outside the window...joined them back together and gave 'em back to me with a sorry. Something felt different within...hence forth...I felt the romance in the air blended with symphony of love...I was struck...

Towards the end of session 2004-05...I proposed my love to you (how stupid I was to do that on a phone call :p)...you were awe struck...and I was hell scared..didn't want to lose that friendship with you so I asked Abhi to tell you that it was just some-sort-of-practice (soo sooo soooo stupid of me !) But...(thank God!)..you didn't let anything change and we ended up becoming better friends. I still cant figure out what did we talk on the phone for hours; though we saw each other almost daily ! I joined that tution class so that I could get to be with you :p (may be I never told you this). I loved that chipki-hui-maggi-in-yellow-tiffin-box :) and also loved your writing on my notebooks and journals (you used to do a lot of completion work for me ! ;))..and back home I had every reason to wait for your calls and your cute-endless-bak-bak :)..many a times I didn't get much of it..but it was too lovely to be stopped :). Like a perfect temptress, you showed your signs...but never verbally came to those words...mind mind was always like..I'll-do-that-smart-thing-and-you'll-say-the-words.I was your 'Idiot'..something you calle d an abbreviation for 'I Do Ishq Only Tumse'..:) Damn...I was so in love with you..

Time passed by..as usual..at a much faster rate than one would expect :| but you still hadn't expressed, though your actions could say the story...:). Those long hours of holding your hand in mine on the back seat of the bus..and the way we planned 'our' home there...loved the moment...it was complete and awesome.

Towards the end of Std XII..it was sure that we were not gonna be together anymore...for you dad was getting transferred to Delhi. The very thought of not being with you depressed me like anything...and finally the day came...24th June, 2006.

You were leaving for delhi...and we all fiends came to see you off, at the railway station...I constantly faked the smile on my face 'cause...you were gonna leave...I didn't know when I'd see you next...how would I be with you...what would happen to our yet undefined relationship........I was devastated...

Same day...back @ home...at around 8.30 pm..I received a text message from an unknown number saying "I 4 U...V"
It was your dad's cell number and it was your text....for me !! I was happy beyond forever :))...the moment I waited for..!

I moved to this city in west India while you went to Delhi. Lots of shyness flooded in; for we were in a relationship now..and both of us still kiddish without any sign of maturity on either side...but it was b'ful :)...simple :)...loving :)....and distant :((. With time...shyness faded (completely...never :p)and we got to understand each other better. Your being with me in every phase became my strength...a perfect partner I could ever dream of..I discovered it in you for you were one hell of a company to share all the stuff in my mind with :)

With time...the distance began to pin...We could talk on phone..could text...but..something was missing. In this while..we met 4 times...I remember mom catching me pulling your cheek :). That b'day trip...that movie in Satyam...and the perfect moment...I wished it to be ever-lasting...:(

With different life-styles, schedules and the distance...things started to fade away...it was not like before...we talked less...texted more...sometimes I failed to communicate..sometimes you....and we started losing it..

The midnight hung b/w 16th and 17th of Jan 2009 finally took away my most precious possession from me....a relation with you. We sort of..broke up...:(


We still are best of friends...not just to say. Something that went missing for a while...something that had brought us together...now exists again and will..forever.....an understanding friendship.

Thanks for being there V.

Forever indebted to you; for what you made out of me...

Dhruv. .

Today :|

Start a day un-bathed..
only to make it to the class in time. Success or no-success..lies in the hand of the lecturer..master of the puppets cause according to him 5 mins late in his lecture means u're no good a creature on earth and u dont even deserve(and so you don't !) to sit for the second one too..

Heads down..saddie..walk a few steps to the fresh-crisp-8.37-am-sun-light adoring the balcony near by...aahhh...its soothing to be here..no more walking with heads down; koi ni yaar will be on time tomorrow :) sunny-lil-bit-of-cold-morning is good :)...havent made it to this first lecture in past 3 days :|..koi ni..just the first week...long way to go...sun's b'ful...oh ! colorful..the beautiful one ;)

...and the fun kept coming ! Just after the second lecture (fortunately/unfortunately I got to attend it).."Maraaaj Kitthhe ?!...ground pe mil" and we meet there to watch Mechanical vs. IT volley-ball match amongst "bahilalas and balbir pashas ;)"..some mechanical student specific slangs. Every average looking girl passing by, finds attention with "Oh O O O..Oh O O O ;)" by mechanical engineering boyss. IT loses to us..huh..just another brick in The Wall...also Mech's basketball team defeated EnTC's team which by far was considered as a threat. Anant played a hero today ( :p ).."chalgaiyyyya" !

Me and Sagar, then, missing a girls' handball match (why is it even a sport ! I guess..just something exclusively for male spectators :p)..go to FC's 'Smoking Stairs' to pick up Sagar's home door lock keys from Nishant bhaiyya..and ask Anant to take an auto to Sagar's place and wait there..(eventually...we forget this :P)

On way back from FC..we go tho Big bazaar 'cuz Sagar wants to get these knickers and sweat shirts...earlier during the ride we decided on changing our usual loose-shirt-dirty-jean-rugged-shoes-poor-guy getup to that of 'rich' guys so...sweat shirts and knickers :p

In the real big big..big bazaar we get real cheap deals (Damn..they dress up Dhoni and Asin real bad..but spend some time and you can surely end up with some good stuff ;})
He gets a pair of knickers and though it wasn't my shopping day..I end up with a couple of boxer shorts and a real cheap sweater (wear it..and you can surely let the people know "dude..its cold" :P). The sweater is interesting though..I'm gonna look like a perfect writer with that sweater on (Sagar said so !) and so after leaving the billing counter and moving a couple of yards...."nah ! I should get it" :p..and I do get it..I love it..its awesome..its 2.30 pm.



"Dhokebaaaaz...bhediye ho tum dono"...says Anant on fone @ 6pm. :p


Dhruv. .

P.S.Words of wisdom. Tomorrow Mechanical plays against IT in basketball finals..I wish we win and Anant keeps up high spirits and performs awesome. ;)

We're never gonna stop this train. .

Sitting at a side grass, near Mech porch. I'm wondering...do I really belong here; as a part of this crowd. Its been a long span of almost 4 years now..since I've been in this city..Pune. Coming here was not a choice...it was more of kinda...circumstances driven action. I've always believed that all that happens, is for one's good in some way or the other and so once again I just let it go...and believed it to be something good for me...besides...I had just entered into a relationship, so I was kinda..world-is-so-beautiful-when-u-r-here-with-me. But...eventually...i had to be with the people here since she was too distant to physically be with. And then it started....

The discovery of self. I had started missing Maa, papa, home, small-town warmth and every possible thing in that front...I started to like photography and no more remained a tea-tottler. I started wanting to travel through road...unlike before, I started to like biking....Pink Floyd and Nirvana started to make some sense to me. Break-up brought buddies closer and developed 'that' inexpressible bond. Booze came in blended with some melody and feeling of loss gave way to something-good-on-the-way. Being here started to make sense...found best of friends..memories were created. Cried to papa when I felt too heavy..never did that before...never felt like leaving home whenever I happened to go there...cried in train back to pune..cuz I missed Maa...was never able to decide on the answer to "What do you want to do in future ?" but now it troubled less than it did before..for though funny, but now I have an answer to this and I'm gonna try my level best to make it realize !

'All is over..nothings gonna be fine..all bad happens to me'....slowly got away from me and slowly I changed to 'everything's gna work out..dont worry'..a worth transformation for me for; I lost it when I dint get through AIEEE cutoff for centre but ended up in MIT only to find my life and self..good ! I lost it when she(P) left..but today I hardly think about her, many a things in world are yet to be thought about...good ! I lost it when V broke up with me..but today I know that someone is on way to me...good ! Was too frustrated and low spirited for not getting placed since the season started..but out of blue Essar happened...good...

Have come a long way. Long way to go. I have faith that everything is gonna workout someway cause the heart of life is good. The Train never stopped...we're never gonna stop it....

Dhruv..

Someone !

At the moment..somewhere deep inside my heart..I'm wishing you were real, while my mind is enjoying "Kurdt Kobain"...no its not a spell-error of Kurt Cobain..its just something he was for himself in his mind-heart war.

Saw someone like you in an Instant Karma video, heard someone like you in a girl I knew, felt being with someone like you while I was with someone, saw your delicacy while those water splashes woke up someone like you in a honeymoon boat, loved the giggly laughter of someone like you, admired the cuteness of someone like you being not able to speak a specific word, wish I could capture someone like you in a black and white photograph that could adore our abode, that little act of maturity by someone like you which left me craving for you, those numerous colors on someone like you made me colorblind, someone like you who didn't know how lovable and cute she actually was/is, someone like you who could rejoice even the slightest gesture of affection, someone like you who always wanted her man to buy her a rose, call her from work and open a door for her, someone like you who wished her man to express his love for her by the look in eyes, someone like you who could make life simpler with that serene smile, someone like you who could be a shoulder in all the extremities of life, someone like you who could do silly things and generate smiles in grave situations, someone, who were clad in a Roberto Cavalli having a classic-roof-top-candle-lit-dinner with me and were as much innocent and fun as the one to have an early-cold-morning-distant-tapri-chai with....like you, someone who'd have a world-cup-winning-team's-captain-like satisfaction on her face by getting into those old pair of denims...very much like you, that very-much-required-not-asked-for-but-understood-just-by-you hug given by someone like you, that ice-cream in an icy cold night savored by someone like you, that spontaneous idea of a long drive that was always "totally" for someone like you, someone who'd just love to get soaked up in rain...anytime...like you..
Someone...who could just make the worth-living-life (I'm totally in love with life :)) sugary-spicy....and b'ful...
Someone...whom I love like...forever...and someone...who loves me like...forever.unconditionally.

Someone like you...

I know you are on your way...to form that 'us'.

Love you.

Dhruv. .

Roadtrip !

Thursday aka "Weekly Trip Day" (Hence Forth :D), 7th Jan

At around quarter to 11 the god-sent...Anant calls me up with "Maae...kuch karo....kahin chalte hain". Being bugged up myself...yeah...I'm in ! I say "Call up Sagar, jagah decide kar...Aniket ko bhi bula le...fir mujhe bata de....main aata hoon".

5 minutes later. "Aa ja...Lavazza chalenge....Sagar ke ghar pe mil"..."Ok...coming in an hour".

@Sagar's place. Ritesh bhaiyya is so into body building (literally :p)...leading to a kitchen filled up with health supplements, proteins etc. and he has this "shake me zapper" in his hands preparing health drinks time to time. Its...'now or never' this time....the 4th time :p

So after spending a couple of more hours improving India's civic conditions, discussing a country to settle in and 12-string guitar....we realize ki its toooo late for Lavazza now ! Its 2 pm !

So we are heading to Mulshi now...2 bikes...3 not-so-sensible-sab-sahi-hai-mechanical-engineers with the god-sent adamant on driving one of them (obviously he's not getting anyone on his back seat being an amateur ;) )

"Abe photo le....sahi waali" yells Anant while driving (You can imagine the level of excitement when some amateur gets to drive on a hill side...and cherry on the cake..its Anant :p)

"Pose de...thora attitude ke saath....haan ab idhar dekh............bhayankar....bhai aaj aa gai hai faaad foto ;) ;)" says the current backseat-is-good-to-look-around-atleast-I'll-get-some-photos-huh positioned me...damn it...I want to drive...I love it...to feel the cool air on face :(

We stop to buy some cold-drinks and hence on....yeah....I'm the new rider replacing Sagar :) Anant still gets to drive....we usually enjoy him pretending confidence ;) ;)

So now search for some water-side to crash by and have some fun, starts....in b/w we take a break at a roadside and have the said cold-drinks ;) and click some photographs.



The place we find to crash by is behind a small hay-farm...we see this young boy there and ask him to let us in. Then comes the "oh !" moment....rear brake of the bike driven by Anant shows a failure...the "nut's missing" (thats how Anant has been quoting it since then ;) ). He tries to play a cheap trick to get the missing nut....and is stopped by the said boy ! The boy...here he is..photographed by Sagar...


We head to the water-side....nearby a not-so-Indian-eastern-western group is having drinks with barbaque ! (Their ethnicity though much seems like Iranis, Anant thinks they are north east Indians...God Knows Why !) and so me and Sagar get off our respective pants (Yes ! We do have boxers and we wear 'em too) and get into the water. By the time we get back...Anant finds that he ain't wearing no boxers ;) but the water is tempting so...he gets in with his jeans on and then, we, as usual pooooore mazze lene ke liye, start throwing stones into the water near where he stood in (Sagar urged that the stones should be BIG ;)) and as and when he is all wet...no more stones ;).
We rest there for a while, have "Pehelwan ki Nutties" (No pun intended :p....its a sweet dish) and I take a shot of the shimmering water (below)....


So now...we are ready to leave. On our way...we stop for a meal at a dhaba....and we have Maharashtrian Chinese food and a too-bad-to-get-into-the-foodpipe tea :|
On the road. After a few miles...my bike comes up with "Dude....petrol ?!" shit man ! shit shit shit shit...Anant is racing ahead, can't see us (me and Sagar), has my mobile phone which has balance while leaving us with a no petrol bike, a no balance cell phone :(.
Bad news never had Good timing.
We drag...drag.....drag....oh ! dhalaan finally...................drag...drag...drag. The distance...about 5 km or so !

Finally, we get to a petrol pump.....fill in...and....its dark already....so we head back home.

Nothing crazy after that :|

Dhruv. .

P.S.India defeats bangladesh !

United We Stand !

"We need a separate state..Telangana" "20 new states formation requests pending with central govt"

WTF...When are we gonna grow up and look up to a bigger picture...India. Why are we losing the thing for which we almost waited for a century and a half ! We are breaking like anything...communal politics is taking a huge toll on India's future and causing its uncertainty to increase by leaps and bounds. When are we gonna stop "all-praise-for-my-state-my-language-blah-blah" and look for the common medium which binds us...a common cause. Why cant we love someone from a different region in country....he is as Indian as I'm..as u are....that is what we call ourselves right ! "Indians"...why not actually be one instead of just limiting it to ideals and books ?!

We don't hate each other that much....do we ?! We ought to be together. Its a no-hidden fact that the "west and its culture" that we frequently criticise is actually more united and patriotic than we are...the reason I see is a common medium of communication.

Not to harm any regional sentiments but...why don't we use the common medium of communication...I know its a small thing but I feel that Hindi language is understood and can be spoken by maximum of Indians...and so it can turn to be a good binding medium for "We...The People"

Buona Sera ;)

Dhruv. .

Sagar gets his Jean and we get a hangover !

"Yaar..kapde toe dila do" says Sagar. We, Anant and me, are sitting opposite him in Richie Rich, having meal and sipping in Ice tea. Its damn hot...in here. Its 4th of Jan and still...oh ! come on...we deserve some chillin n bitin cold !!

We go to Central E-Square on my activa and Sagar's pulsar. This time, usually i-will-drive-pulsar anant is having a gastric problem due to burger+my "dibba" in his stomach :p, so he gets to sit behind Sagar while I drive my brakeless activa. As I expected, we dint get anything here but Anant's gas relief. So now...he's gonna drive and just see him pretend confidence :P cuz i know..he is hell scared as well as excited to same extent while he drives ! We head to Camp.

I regret not eating non-veg ! Even with two of my best of buddies, I feel secluded when it comes to food. They (Sagar and Anant) are hard core non-veggies n me...vice versa. So now they are having chiken thali + some sort of fish and all this for jus 30 bucks !!! I doubt the authenticity of chicken by price...but they are confident about it with the taste. I wonder...high prices have just hit the Vegan World :). By the time...I have a-supposed-to-be adraki chai and cream roll (my cheap+not filling equivalent for their cheap+filling meal :-| ).

We hunt for the Jean in few more stores but he doesnt fit in any and ultimately comes up with a deal breaker "Bhai..aaj jeans mil gai toe raat ka khaana meri taraf se". Thats...drivin force..at least for now :).

Suddenly...we spot a thela selling some "Star-fruit"...nva even heard of it. Well...thela wala says "Rs.7 pao kilo"...huh..cheap..we can afford it...so he gets two of these, chops them and tops with some chilli powder and salt and we start off with it with fruit waala askin us for Rs.60 now ! Shit...wtf...damned be noise pollution which caused this difference b/w "saat and saath" :(( heavy hole in pocket :(
A beer at Toons should be a good option...only if beer in India were cheap :((
Anyway...Anant realizes, he should get some new shoes. I know he want 'em...like mine....but its rare that u get Lee Coopers for 800 bucks ! So we go to this Converse store and a confused Anant is convinced by us to pick up those black canvas shoes with some green lining and laces. As of now...he is happy about 'em ;)
Outside the store...5 mins later....Sagar says,"Ye tune kya le liya...hare joote...kya Anant" ;) Now it starts..;) ;) ;) "Shit anant...tune socha bhi nahi...1000 rupaye aise hi kharch diye" "kya shit joote liye hain" "Ghar mein Rohit aur Alok bhaiyya le lenge teri" ;) ;)

Now we head to Central bundgarden...Sagar finally gets his anticipated Wrangler and me and Anant fist-up in cheer. Dinner is on Sagar :)

I knew it...it would just be momos in dinner-on-me, but who cares...these momos are awesome :)). So now...its time to leave...wait some one comes up with "yaar...pee bhi lete hain...mazza aayega" and as usual...all three of us are in :) and we pick up reliable-fun giving Old Monk and head to Sagar's.

I say "Its Nirvana night"...no one argues...we love 'em...literally :) So now its all the grunge and the rum...all's going fine and I do something I would not have done; had I not been high....I send texts to V...I do miss her..a lot sometimes...and when high...its uncontrollable...I wish we had not broken-up or things could fix up :(( and someone puts on Coldplay...only to add to emotional turmoil :((.



I'm sleepy...I think...I'll cut my not-able-to-vomit-cold water-on-head part and end up with the next morning...5th Jan hangover. Me and Anant have to go for the project and we have a hangover...but....we go :) and i spend a full-on-yawning day.

Enough for now...Fill You Up tomorrow. Goodnite.

Dhruv. .